Do You Kiss a Girl on the Top or Bottom Lip?

The First Kiss Dilemma: Why This Even Matters

Honestly, I didn’t think about this at all the first time I kissed someone. I just went for it. Big mistake. It was awkward as hell. We bumped teeth (yep, that’s a thing), and I ended up kind of smushing both our faces like a clumsy puppy. Not ideal.

But yeah, over time—and with a bit more experience—you realize that how you kiss matters. Especially that little detail: do you aim for the top lip, or the bottom lip? It sounds silly, but it actually makes a difference.

And if you’re here, I’m guessing you’ve wondered the same.

The Basic Rule of Thumb: Top or Bottom?

Who takes the top and who takes the bottom?

Well, generally speaking—and I swear I heard this from my friend Jess during a very random convo over coffee—the “standard” approach is that one person takes the top lip, and the other takes the bottom. It creates a nice, even balance. So no, you’re not both trying to eat the same lip like it’s the last gummy worm on Earth.

Usually, the taller person naturally goes for the top lip, because of the angle. But it’s not a hard rule. I’m not exactly NBA material and I still go for the top lip sometimes—it’s just what feels natural in the moment.

So... do you go for the top or bottom?

Short answer? It depends. (I know, not helpful.) Personally, I tend to go for the top lip—unless I can feel she’s already leaning that way, in which case I switch to the bottom. It’s this weird unspoken dance, and sometimes you fumble through it. But that’s part of the charm.

There’s no universal law here. But one taking top and the other taking bottom = smoother kiss. Period.

How to Read the Moment Without Ruining It

Look, don’t overthink... but do pay attention

One of the worst things you can do during a kiss is overanalyze it in real-time. Trust me, I’ve been there. My brain was screaming “Which lip? What’s her rhythm? Am I tilting too far??” and meanwhile, the actual kiss was super stiff.

Instead, try to feel it out. If she’s going low, you go high. If she’s already kinda locked on your bottom lip, stick with the top. It becomes instinctual with practice, like muscle memory.

(Also—just a quick PSA—please mind your breath. Doesn’t matter which lip you choose if your breath smells like tuna salad and regret.)

Small tip: mirror, then adjust

Sometimes I’ll just mirror her lips for a second—light contact—and then naturally ease into the opposite lip. Sounds subtle, but it works. It’s kind of like tuning into the same frequency.

What If You Get It Wrong?

The awkward lip clash (it happens to all of us)

Okay, so this will happen to you at least once. Probably more. You both go for the same lip and end up doing this weird “lip tug-of-war” that’s more confusing than sexy. It’s fine. Laugh it off. Seriously, that kind of moment can actually make the kiss more memorable.

I remember once—I think it was with Clara, back when we were still figuring each other out—we kept going for the same lip over and over. At one point she just stopped, looked at me, and said, “You’re definitely a top lip guy, huh?” and we cracked up. After that, every kiss was smoother. Sometimes a fumble brings you closer.

Recovering smoothly

If you bump lips or go the wrong way, don’t panic. Just slow down, shift slightly, and try again. The pause can even add a little tension (the good kind). Eye contact helps too—don’t just dive back in like a maniac.

When Kissing Becomes a Conversation

Let her guide you (she might not even realize she’s doing it)

Kissing’s not a solo act. If she’s clearly leading with her bottom lip, follow her rhythm. Don’t fight it. Sometimes she’ll even slightly pull your lip—yeah, that’s a move—and that’s your cue to switch or settle into a groove.

There’s this girl I dated who always took my top lip. Always. It was her thing. At first I thought I should switch it up, but then I realized—nah, she’s comfortable like that. And honestly, it was kind of hot knowing she had a preference.

Communication outside the kiss

You can actually talk about it too—after the fact, not mid-kiss obviously. If you’re dating someone or kissing them often, it’s totally normal to just say “Hey, do you like it better when I go for your top or bottom lip?” It sounds awkward in theory, but in real life? Shows you care. Shows you’re tuned in.

Final Thoughts: It’s Not About Technique, It’s About Connection

So... top or bottom lip? Sure, it matters. But not as much as how present you are, how into the moment you both feel, and how willing you are to adjust and read the vibe.

I used to think kissing had to be perfect—textbook, movie-scene-level stuff. Now? I know the best kisses are messy, honest, and full of little “oops” moments that somehow make them better.

So stop worrying so much about the lip logistics. Be present. Be playful. And if you mess up, just smile, reset, and go again. That's what makes it real.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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