How Can I Be a Good Parent to My 11 Year Old?

Understand What’s Really Going On at Age 11

Age 11 is weird. Your child is not quite a teenager, but definitely not a little kid anymore. They're starting to question stuff, test boundaries, and develop stronger opinions. One day they’ll want to cuddle on the couch, the next they’ll act like you're the most embarrassing person alive.

So yeah — it’s a tricky, beautiful, sometimes exhausting age. And being a "good parent" here? It’s more about adapting than having all the answers.

Pre-teen = Pre-storm?

Let’s be real. Hormones are already knocking on the door. You might not see full-blown teenage drama yet, but the mood swings, the sudden privacy obsession, and the “Ugh, Mom, seriously?” moments — they’re all part of the ride. Your job? Don’t panic. Stay present.

Build Trust Without Being Overbearing

Talk with them, not at them

Sounds simple, but many parents forget this one. If your kid feels like every convo turns into a lecture, they’ll just stop opening up. Instead of going full “parent mode” all the time, try curiosity. Ask how their day was — and actually listen. Even if the answer is “fine” 90% of the time.

Sometimes I’d ask my daughter, “What was the weirdest thing someone said at lunch today?” — oddly enough, that got better answers than “How was school?”

Set rules with them, not just for them

At 11, kids want some say in how things go. Instead of laying down rules like a dictator, try involving them in decisions. “What do you think is a fair bedtime on weekends?” — trust me, they’ll surprise you with reasonable answers (most of the time).

When they help make the rules, they’re more likely to respect them.

Support Their Independence — But Keep the Net Tight

Give freedom, with soft boundaries

They want to go to the mall with friends? Watch YouTube unsupervised? Choose their own clothes? Yes, yes, and yes — but with guidance.

For example:

• Let them pick their outfit, but talk about school dress codes

• Allow screen time, but set limits and use parental tools

• Say yes to hangouts, but get to know the other kids’ parents too

You’re not being overprotective. You’re being smart. Think of it as giving them room to explore — with a safety net you can tighten or loosen as needed.

Let them fail a little

This one’s hard. But seriously — let them mess up sometimes. Forgot homework? Missed practice? Natural consequences teach more than a thousand reminders. Just be there to talk it through after.

Keep Emotional Connection Front and Center

Validate, don’t minimize

If they say something like, “Everyone hates me” — don’t reply, “Oh come on, that’s not true.” Even if it’s dramatic or feels silly, start with validation: “That must feel awful.” Then, once they feel heard, you can help them unpack it.

They need to know their emotions are safe with you.

Keep traditions alive

Whether it’s Friday night pizza, a silly handshake, or bedtime stories — small rituals build connection. They act like they don’t care, but they do. These moments become anchors in a fast-changing world.

I still read with my son (he’s 11) a few nights a week. He rolls his eyes but never says no.

Be the Example They Actually Notice

Show, don’t preach

They notice everything. If you’re glued to your phone while telling them to “go outside and play,” they’ll call your bluff (or just roll their eyes forever). Want them to be kind, calm, or consistent? Model it.

They won’t always do what you say. But they will do what you do.

Final Thought: It’s Not About Being Perfect

There’s no such thing as the “perfect parent.” You’ll lose your patience. You’ll say the wrong thing. It’s fine. What matters most is that your 11-year-old feels safe, loved, and seen.

Honestly? Just showing up — again and again — is already a huge win.

So take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.