How Do I Build My Child's Anxiety and Confidence? A Parent's Guide

Understanding the Balance: Anxiety vs. Confidence

Parenting is a rollercoaster, right? You want to shield your child from the world’s anxieties, but you also want them to be strong and confident in facing challenges. Balancing your child’s anxiety and confidence is tricky, and I’ve had my fair share of moments where I wasn’t sure how much to push and when to step back. But here’s what I’ve learned over the years: building confidence and addressing anxiety isn’t about taking one out and keeping the other. It’s about guiding them through both.

I remember chatting with a friend, Emily, the other day. She was telling me about her 9-year-old son, who’s been feeling anxious about school presentations. She was worried about his lack of confidence. And I totally get it. As parents, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of trying to eliminate their fears, but what we really want is to help them build resilience and confidence to handle those fears.

Helping Your Child Understand Anxiety

What is Anxiety, and Why Does It Happen?

Anxiety in children can come from a variety of school stress, social pressures, or even internalized expectations. Understanding why your child feels anxious is key. It’s important to first help your child recognize that feeling anxious doesn’t mean they’re weak or incapable. Anxiety is a natural emotion, like any other, and it can actually be a healthy response to stress. The trick is to make sure it doesn't take over.

I remember when my son, Leo, started having anxiety about social situations, like going to birthday parties or meeting new people. At first, I thought he just wasn’t outgoing enough, but then I realized he had fears about how others might perceive him. I started talking to him about how it’s okay to feel nervous and that sometimes those feelings can actually help us perform better, like when you’re preparing for something important.

Acknowledge and Normalize the Feeling

One thing I’ve learned is that telling your child, “Don’t worry, you’re fine,” while well-intentioned, doesn’t help much. Instead, acknowledge the feeling. I say things like, “I know you’re feeling nervous about tomorrow’s class presentation. It’s okay to feel that way, and we’ll get through it together.” By naming the emotion and validating it, you make them feel seen and understood. Plus, it opens the door to helping them manage it better.

Building Confidence: Step by Step

Encouraging Small Wins

One of the best ways to build your child's confidence is by helping them experience success in small, manageable steps. When they feel they can tackle little challenges, it gradually builds their self-esteem. Start with small, daily successes. It could be something as simple as completing a homework assignment or speaking up in class. Celebrate these moments—yes, even the tiny victories.

There’s a great story I heard from my friend Sophie. Her daughter, Clara, was always shy about answering questions in class. Sophie started encouraging her to speak up at home, even if it was just about a favorite book or movie. After a few weeks, Clara was more confident and started volunteering to answer questions at school. It’s these little steps that make the biggest difference!

Praise Effort, Not Just Success

Building confidence isn’t just about celebrating when things go perfectly—it’s about praising the effort. If your child tries their best, even if they don’t succeed right away, that’s something to celebrate. I often remind Leo that it’s the effort, not just the outcome, that counts. This helps them understand that they don’t have to be perfect to be valuable. And it’s okay to fail as long as they keep trying.

Allowing Failure as a Learning Opportunity

I know, it’s hard to watch your child fail, especially when you see how much they’re struggling. But here's the thing: failure is an essential part of building resilience and confidence. When they fail, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s tough, but I’ve seen how important it is for Leo to experience failure, learn from it, and bounce back stronger. Don’t rush in to “fix” everything—let them process their feelings and figure out how to improve next time.

Practical Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Build Confidence

Teach Relaxation Techniques

Sometimes, anxiety can be overwhelming for kids, and it’s hard for them to manage it on their own. That’s where relaxation techniques come in. Teaching your child some basic mindfulness or breathing exercises can help them calm down when they feel anxious. Deep breathing, counting to ten, or even practicing visualization (like imagining a calm beach or a happy place) can be powerful tools.

I’ve found that when Leo is feeling anxious about school or social situations, I remind him to take a deep breath and count to five. It works wonders for him and it’s something I can do with him so he doesn’t feel alone in those moments.

Encourage Open Conversations

Creating a safe space for your child to express their worries is crucial. Let them know it’s okay to talk about their fears. When Leo opens up about his worries, I always make sure to listen without judgment. Just having someone there who listens can reduce anxiety significantly. This doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers—sometimes, just validating their feelings makes a huge difference.

Conclusion: Patience and Practice in Building Confidence and Managing Anxiety

So, how do you build your child’s anxiety and confidence? It’s a journey, not a destination. Recognize that anxiety is normal, but it doesn’t need to control them. By building confidence step by step, validating their feelings, and teaching them how to manage stress, you’re equipping them with tools they’ll use for life. Trust the process, and remember, you’re doing great.

And hey, if you ever feel uncertain about how to help them through tough moments, just take a deep breath and remember: you don’t have to have all the answers. With love, patience, and support, your child will develop the skills they need to navigate life’s challenges.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.