How to Tell if Someone Isn't Over Their Ex: 7 Key Signs

It’s tough, right? You meet someone new, and everything seems to be going great... until you start noticing little things that make you wonder if they’re still hung up on their ex. Honestly, it’s not always obvious, but there are definitely signs that can clue you in. So, how do you know if someone isn’t over their ex? Let’s dig into the details and figure it out.

They Still Talk About Their Ex Constantly

The Ex Comes Up in Conversations (A Lot)

One of the clearest signs that someone may not be over their ex is if they talk about them all the time. Whether it’s reminiscing about good times or venting about bad experiences, if your partner or friend can’t stop bringing them up, it might be a red flag.

I had a friend, let’s call her Sarah, who started dating a guy after a long relationship. Every time we’d hang out, he’d casually drop comments like, "Oh, my ex used to love this place" or "My ex and I went here all the time." It got to the point where Sarah had to ask him, "Are you sure you’re ready for this?"

Honestly, if someone is consistently bringing up their ex, it might mean they’re not really emotionally detached yet. It's not about the occasional mention – it’s about the pattern.

They're Always on Their Ex’s Social Media

They Keep Checking Their Ex’s Life Online

You’ve probably seen it – someone checking their ex’s Instagram or Facebook, lurking in the background of their life, even though they say they’re "done" with them. If you’ve noticed that they’re obsessed with seeing what their ex is up to on social media, it’s definitely a sign they haven’t moved on completely.

I remember talking to a guy once who claimed he was over his ex, but whenever we’d chat, he’d mention random details from her posts – like her new hairstyle or the fact she was traveling. I’d be like, "Dude, how do you even know that?"

It’s like he was trying to convince himself (and me) that he was fine, but deep down, he was still attached. Social media stalking can be a big indicator that they’re not emotionally free yet.

They Compare You to Their Ex

Unintentional Comparisons: A Major Red Flag

One of the sneakiest ways you can tell someone isn’t over their ex is when they keep comparing you to them. Maybe they’ll say, "My ex used to do that for me," or "My ex would never have said something like that." If you’re hearing these comparisons, it’s a huge indicator that they’re not quite over the relationship.

I had a conversation with a guy I was seeing a while ago, and he would casually mention how "my ex used to love this type of music" or "she was always more patient than you." At first, I didn’t think much of it, but then it started to bug me. It was like I couldn’t be me, I had to be this “perfect” version of someone who wasn’t his ex.

If this is happening, take a step back and evaluate whether you’re being judged against a past relationship. It’s a tough situation, and no one should feel like they're being measured up to someone who isn’t even in the picture anymore.

They’re Still Keeping Personal Belongings from Their Ex

Are They Holding Onto Mementos?

Now, this one is a little more subtle, but trust me, it can reveal a lot. If someone has kept their ex’s stuff – whether it’s a gift, photos, or even just random items from the relationship – it could indicate that they haven’t fully let go of the past.

I’ll be honest, I made the mistake of keeping a hoodie from my ex after we broke up. It was a small thing, but I couldn’t part with it. Eventually, I realized I was holding onto that hoodie because I was not fully ready to move on. If someone is keeping personal items around, it could be a sign they’re subconsciously holding onto the relationship.

They React Strongly to Their Ex’s Actions

They Get Jealous or Upset Over Their Ex’s Life

Another obvious sign that someone isn’t over their ex is when they get visibly upset or jealous about their ex’s new relationships or life. If they get angry or emotional when talking about their ex moving on, it shows they still have unresolved feelings.

Honestly, I’ve seen this with friends, too. One of my friends, let’s call her Emma, would get super worked up if her ex posted a photo with someone new. It wasn’t just that she was upset – she would get angry, almost like the breakup hadn’t even happened yet.

If your partner or friend has a strong reaction when their ex moves on, it might indicate that they haven’t processed their own emotions.

They Avoid Talking About Their Ex, But Not in a Healthy Way

The ‘Silent Treatment’ Around Their Ex

Okay, this one is tricky. Sometimes, people avoid talking about their ex entirely – and while that can be a sign they’ve moved on, it can also signal that they’ve never dealt with their emotions properly. If they refuse to even mention their ex or get defensive when the topic comes up, they might still be holding onto feelings, just in a more repressed way.

A friend of mine, Michael, once told me he was "over" his ex but would freeze up whenever I mentioned her name. It wasn’t that he hated her – it was just like he didn’t want to face the emotions attached to her anymore. And honestly, it wasn’t a good sign.

Sometimes, avoiding the topic is just a way of suppressing feelings rather than actually healing from the past.

Conclusion: What Do You Do If Someone Isn’t Over Their Ex?

Honestly, if you notice any of these signs, it’s crucial to talk openly with the person about where they stand emotionally. You deserve someone who’s fully present and ready to move forward with you. If you feel like you’re stuck in the shadow of their past, it’s okay to ask for clarity or even take a step back.

It’s tough, but knowing if someone isn’t over their ex is crucial for protecting your own emotional well-being. If they’re not ready to move on, it’s better to find that out sooner rather than later.

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