Is It Normal to Not Love Being a Mom? Understanding Your Feelings

The Pressure to Love Motherhood
Honestly, it’s something I’ve thought about a lot myself—feeling like you're supposed to absolutely love being a mom. Society and social media throw this perfect image of motherhood at us, where every mom is depicted as fully content and completely fulfilled. But let me tell you, there’s a lot more to the story. When I first became a mom, I was overwhelmed by the constant expectations of joy and fulfillment. It felt like I should be basking in the glory of motherhood every single moment, but the reality was different. I didn’t always feel that way.
Well, the truth is, it’s actually normal to feel conflicted about motherhood. You’re not alone in feeling like you don’t always love it. In fact, many mothers, including myself, go through periods where they feel uncertain, tired, or even frustrated. So, let’s talk about why it’s okay to not always love being a mom and how you can come to terms with those feelings.
The Complexities of Motherhood: It’s Not Always Sunshine and Rainbows
Emotions Are Multifaceted
Honestly, if anyone tells you they love being a mom all the time, they’re probably hiding some stuff. Motherhood is not a constant wave of happiness—it’s a mix of highs and lows. There are days when I’ve felt like I’m totally rocking this mom thing, and then there are days when I just want to hide under the covers. And guess what? That’s totally fine. It's okay to feel frustrated, exhausted, and even resentful at times.
Take my friend Rachel, for example. She’s a super dedicated mom, but she’s been open with me about how tough it’s been. She once told me, “I love my son, but some days I just want to be me again, not a mom.” I know, it sounds intense, but honestly, it’s the truth for a lot of women.
The Challenge of Losing Yourself
A lot of moms feel like they've lost a part of themselves after having kids. Suddenly, your identity is tied to being a caregiver, and that can feel suffocating. I know I’ve felt that way at times—like I’m no longer the person I used to be, or that I’ve completely sacrificed who I was before becoming a mom. You might find yourself asking, “Where did the fun, carefree version of me go?”
But, here's the thing—this is something that a lot of moms experience. It's a huge life change, and it can be disorienting. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids, but it’s okay to mourn the loss of your former self. Sometimes, taking small steps to reconnect with your personal interests or passions can really help ease that feeling.
Guilt: The Heavy Weight of Expectations
The Guilt of Not Loving Every Moment
Honestly, this is the part that really gets to me. Society expects us to cherish every second of motherhood, but that’s just not realistic. When I was going through the more difficult phases, I felt a crushing weight of guilt. I’d hear other moms talk about how much they loved every minute with their kids, and it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.
But, here’s the kicker: you're allowed to feel frustrated, or to need a break. You're allowed to want some "me time" without feeling like you're failing as a mom. You don’t have to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay. We need to give ourselves permission to feel all kinds of emotions without the guilt trip.
Managing Guilt and Expectations
Well, this is something I’ve had to remind myself over and over. No one has it all together all the time. The trick is learning to manage your expectations and find balance. If you can’t enjoy every second of motherhood, that doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a human one.
One thing I did was talk to other moms who admitted they had the same feelings. It was so reassuring to hear, "I don’t love every moment of being a mom either." Sharing those feelings and acknowledging them helped me release a lot of the guilt I was carrying around.
Redefining Love: It Doesn’t Have to Look Like What You Think
Love Can Look Different
When I first had my baby, I thought love would instantly feel like this overwhelming, all-encompassing emotion. But it didn’t. Instead, it was a slow build-up. Love, as it turns out, doesn’t always feel like fireworks, especially in the early years of motherhood. It’s more about the quiet moments—the late-night feedings, the small gestures, the way your kid’s face lights up when they see you.
The idea that love has to be all-consuming is, in a way, another myth. Love doesn’t have to look a certain way for it to be real or valid.
It’s Okay to Not Feel "In Love" All the Time
You know, it's okay if you're not “in love” with motherhood every single moment. I realized that love for my child and love for the role of being a mom can sometimes be separate. I love my kid fiercely, but I don’t always love the responsibility and exhaustion that come with the role. And that’s normal.
Conclusion: It’s Okay to Not Always Love Being a Mom
Honestly, the bottom line is that it’s okay to not always love being a mom. Motherhood is complex, and no one is expecting you to feel perfectly content 100% of the time. It's a journey with ups and downs, and it's perfectly fine to have moments of doubt, frustration, and even resentment. What matters most is how you take care of yourself and acknowledge your feelings. You're doing great, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
So, do you sometimes struggle with these feelings? You’re not alone in this. Embrace your journey and remember: you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present.
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Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?
The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.
Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?
How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).
How tall is a average 15 year old?
Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years
Male Teens: 13 - 20 Years) | ||
---|---|---|
14 Years | 112.0 lb. (50.8 kg) | 64.5" (163.8 cm) |
15 Years | 123.5 lb. (56.02 kg) | 67.0" (170.1 cm) |
16 Years | 134.0 lb. (60.78 kg) | 68.3" (173.4 cm) |
17 Years | 142.0 lb. (64.41 kg) | 69.0" (175.2 cm) |
How to get taller at 18?
Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.
Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?
Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).
Can you grow between 16 and 18?
Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.
Can you grow 1 cm after 17?
Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.