What Causes a Person to Be Manipulative? Unveiling the Truth

Understanding Manipulation: More than Just Deception

Well, let’s talk about manipulation. We’ve all encountered someone who seems to twist the truth or make us feel guilty for no reason. But, why does someone behave this way? Why would a person manipulate others, and what causes it? I’ve had my fair share of dealing with manipulative people, and let me tell you – it’s frustrating, confusing, and honestly, a bit mind-boggling. But understanding the root causes of manipulation can give you clarity on how to deal with it.

Manipulative behavior doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It’s often a product of past experiences, psychological needs, or insecurities. So, let’s dive into what might be going on in someone’s mind when they use manipulation to get what they want.

Root Causes of Manipulative Behavior

Honestly, it’s not easy to pinpoint one exact cause, as human behavior is complex. But several common factors contribute to why people resort to manipulation. Let me break them down for you.

Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem

One of the biggest causes of manipulation is insecurity. People with low self-esteem or deep-rooted insecurities often feel inadequate. To compensate for this, they may manipulate others to boost their own sense of worth or to maintain control over situations. I remember talking to a friend who had a colleague who was constantly manipulating situations to make herself look better, but it all stemmed from her need to feel accepted and valued.

Childhood Experiences and Upbringing

Honestly, the way someone was raised can play a huge role in whether or not they develop manipulative traits. If someone grew up in an environment where manipulation was used as a tool to get attention or affection, they may learn to use these same tactics in adulthood. For instance, I once met a person who would always manipulate situations to get sympathy, and it wasn’t until I learned about their childhood that I understood why. They grew up in a family where emotional manipulation was the norm. It was all they knew.

Narcissism and Self-Centeredness

Now, this one is a tough pill to swallow, but narcissism can drive manipulative behavior. People with narcissistic tendencies believe they are superior to others and may use manipulation to get their way. They see people as tools to be used for their personal gain. I’ve encountered a few narcissistic individuals in my life, and dealing with them was draining. They could twist words, gaslight you, and leave you doubting yourself all while thinking they were in the right.

Psychological Needs Behind Manipulation

Manipulation often arises when someone has unmet psychological needs. These needs are not always obvious, but they drive behavior. Let’s explore a couple of these needs.

The Need for Control

Honestly, some people manipulate because they need to feel in control. It’s like they can’t function unless they have the upper hand in every situation. This need for control could stem from anxiety or fear of losing power. I had a friend who would always try to dictate the plans whenever we hung out. It wasn’t until later that I realized she had a deep fear of losing control and would manipulate the group dynamic to feel secure.

Fear of Rejection

This one hits hard, but some people manipulate because they fear rejection. They may use manipulation as a way to make sure others don’t leave them or abandon them emotionally. I once had a partner who would use guilt trips whenever things weren’t going well. At first, I thought it was just a bad habit, but I later realized it was his fear of rejection that drove him to make me feel responsible for his emotions.

The Emotional Toll of Being Manipulated

If you’ve ever dealt with a manipulative person, you know it can take an emotional toll. The constant questioning, the gaslighting, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) control tactics—it can be mentally exhausting. Honestly, I’ve been there. It’s like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded, never knowing if you’re being led in the right direction.

Manipulation doesn’t just affect the person being manipulated—it often leaves emotional scars. People who manipulate tend to push others into compromising situations or force them into emotional corners. Over time, this erodes trust and damages relationships.

How to Deal with Manipulative Behavior

Okay, so now that we understand why people manipulate, what can we do about it? Dealing with manipulative behavior isn’t easy, but setting boundaries and understanding the motives behind the behavior can help.

Recognize the Signs

The first step is recognizing the signs. Manipulative people are often skilled at disguising their intentions. They may use flattery, guilt, or intimidation to get what they want. Once you start noticing these patterns, it becomes easier to defend yourself.

Set Boundaries

I cannot stress this enough—setting boundaries is key. Don’t let a manipulative person take control of your emotions or your decisions. Be clear about what is acceptable and what isn’t, and stick to your guns. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting respect.

Communicate Clearly

When dealing with someone who is manipulative, clear and direct communication is crucial. Don’t let them twist your words. Keep your responses simple, straightforward, and to the point. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s necessary.

Conclusion: Breaking Free from Manipulation

Well, now that we’ve uncovered the causes of manipulative behavior, it’s important to realize that while manipulation may be rooted in psychological needs or past experiences, it’s still not an excuse for harmful behavior. It’s essential to recognize the signs, understand the motivations, and protect your emotional well-being.

Honestly, the more you understand the "why" behind manipulation, the more empowered you’ll feel when you encounter it. You don’t have to accept being manipulated, and you can take steps to break free from it. It might take time, but with self-awareness, boundaries, and support, you can regain control of your own narrative.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

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Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

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Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.