Why Do I Have to Yell at My Kids to Get Them to Listen?

The Frustration Behind the Yelling

You know the drill. You ask nicely once. Then again, a bit firmer. Then again — nothing. And suddenly, you're yelling across the living room like a maniac over socks on the floor. Sound familiar?

Yelling often feels like the only thing that works. But why does it have to get to that point? It’s not just about discipline — it’s deeper. There's emotion, attention, and sometimes, just plain fatigue (yours and theirs).

Honestly, it’s exhausting. And hey, if you’re reading this, chances are you’re not the only one in your house feeling that way.

The Science of Selective Hearing (Yeah, It’s Real)

How Kids Tune Us Out

Children's brains are wired for curiosity — not necessarily for compliance. A 2020 study in Child Development showed that kids under 10 often genuinely don't register instructions unless those commands directly relate to something they care about in the moment. That’s not disobedience — that’s brain science.

You say, “Please get your shoes on.” But in their heads? Dinosaurs, snack time, Legos, last night’s cartoon. You’re background noise.

Why Yelling Works (Temporarily)

Raising your voice triggers their stress response. They snap to attention. Not because they suddenly care more, but because their bodies recognize intensity. It's basically fight-or-flight... not ideal for everyday parenting.

Problem is: that short-term “success” trains both of you. You yell → they respond → cycle reinforced.

Emotional Load: What You're Really Carrying

You're Not Just Yelling About Homework

Let’s be real — sometimes the yelling isn’t even about the kids. It’s the dishes, work emails, the car repair bill, the 4 hours of sleep. That overload leaks out as volume.

One mom I know (shoutout to Clara from book club) once told her kid to “get out of the damn tub right now” — not because bath time was too long, but because she’d just found out her bank account was overdrawn. The tub was just the spark. Totally relatable.

Guilt That Comes After

And oof — the guilt. That hollow pit-in-the-stomach feeling after the yelling fades. You swear you’ll do better tomorrow. But it creeps back in.

That’s not failure. That’s just parenting in the trenches. We’re human.

Building Connection Over Control

Listening Is a Two-Way Street

Here’s the kicker: kids listen better when they feel heard. Sounds backward, right? But try this — before giving a direction, pause and ask them something about what they’re doing. Engage first. Then ask. The shift in tone can be wild.

Even just saying, “Hey bud, I see you’re deep in Minecraft. Can I steal you for 30 seconds to feed the dog?” goes further than barking from the kitchen.

Setting Routines That Speak Louder Than Words

Kids thrive on predictability. If brushing teeth always happens after storytime, and storytime always starts at 7:30, guess what? Less need to yell.

Not perfect, of course — routines fall apart (thanks, holidays), but still, it’s worth the effort. Less decision-making means fewer battles.

So... What’s the Fix?

Okay, maybe “fix” is too strong. Parenting’s not a broken thing to repair — it’s a wild ride you learn to steer.

A Few Things That Actually Help

• Lower your voice. Sounds crazy, but whispering sometimes makes kids lean in to listen.

• Use humor. Say “Attention citizens! Toothbrushing is now mandatory by royal decree!” and boom — they’re smiling.

• Touch first. A hand on the shoulder, eye contact — it grounds the moment.

• Repair after. If you do yell (and you will), apologize. Like, honestly. Kids remember that more than you think.

Final Thought (That Might Change Tomorrow)

There’s no perfect version of this. You’ll have good days, and days you wanna hide in the bathroom for 45 minutes scrolling memes. That’s okay.

Today, maybe you yelled. Tomorrow, maybe you won’t have to. Either way, you’re trying — and that counts more than you know.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.