What is the Difference Between a Pathological Liar and a Habitual Liar?

Have you ever encountered someone who seems to lie so often that it becomes second nature? It can be confusing to understand the motives behind their behavior. But what if I told you that there’s a significant difference between a pathological liar and a habitual liar? It’s not just about how often they lie but the reasons behind their lies. Let’s dive into this intriguing distinction and figure out how to tell them apart.

What Defines a Pathological Liar?

Pathological liars are often seen as individuals who lie compulsively, without any apparent reason or need to gain something tangible. But what does that actually mean?

The Root Causes of Pathological Lying

Pathological lying isn't just about telling falsehoods for fun or to cover up mistakes. It’s a compulsive behavior that could be linked to deeper psychological conditions. These individuals lie as a reflex, often without thinking about it or even realizing they’re doing it. It's almost as if lying becomes a coping mechanism or a way to escape reality.

A friend of mine once dated someone who would lie about the most random things—sometimes even about the simplest of situations that didn’t need any elaboration. The lies were often so elaborate that it made everyone around them question what was true and what wasn’t. I remember being confused and frustrated because there didn’t seem to be any obvious reason for the lies. This is typical of a pathological liar.

The Harmful Effects of Pathological Lying

What sets pathological liars apart is the emotional and social toll it takes on their relationships. They might lie to avoid conflict, to create a sense of importance, or because it has simply become an ingrained habit. In many cases, the lies hurt those around them, even if they don’t mean to cause harm. The challenge is that they often don’t see the need for change, which can make the behavior more difficult to address.

What Defines a Habitual Liar?

Now, let’s shift gears to habitual liars. Unlike pathological liars, habitual liars don’t necessarily lie for no reason. They tend to lie out of habit, often to protect themselves or avoid facing consequences. They’re aware of their lies, and they often use them as a tool to manage their image or to avoid uncomfortable situations.

The Motivation Behind Habitual Lying

Habitual lying often stems from a desire to cover up mistakes or present oneself in a better light. Habitual liars typically lie when they feel cornered or threatened. It’s a defense mechanism more than a compulsive need. They might not lie as frequently or as dramatically as pathological liars, but when they do, it’s usually to avoid confrontation or hide something embarrassing.

I had a colleague who was a perfect example of a habitual liar. He would frequently exaggerate stories or twist facts to make himself appear more successful. I wasn’t initially sure why he did it, but after spending some time with him, I realized that it was a pattern—he lied because he didn’t want to seem inadequate. He knew he was lying but felt it was necessary to preserve his social standing. This is classic behavior for a habitual liar.

How Habitual Lying Affects Relationships

Although habitual lying may not be as deeply ingrained as pathological lying, it can still lead to trust issues in relationships. If a habitual liar’s lies are uncovered, they may face embarrassment or guilt. Over time, these lies can become a source of conflict, especially in personal or professional relationships, where transparency is important.

Key Differences Between Pathological and Habitual Liars

So, now that we’ve looked at both types, what exactly differentiates them?

The Frequency and Nature of Their Lies

Pathological liars lie for no apparent reason, and their lies can be about anything—big or small. The frequency of these lies can be constant, and they often lie without realizing it. On the other hand, habitual liars lie with a purpose—whether to protect themselves, avoid trouble, or create a certain image. The frequency of their lies may be less, but their motives are more deliberate.

The Psychological Aspect

Pathological lying often points to a deeper psychological issue, such as personality disorders (e.g., narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder). Habitual lying, however, is typically a learned behavior that can be influenced by life circumstances, such as childhood trauma, anxiety, or insecurity.

The Impact on Relationships

Pathological liars can destroy relationships because their lying is often out of control, and they don’t seem to recognize the harm it causes. Habitual liars, while still problematic, may be more likely to recognize the need to change or seek help because their lying is often more calculated.

How to Deal with a Pathological or Habitual Liar

Whether you’re dealing with a pathological or habitual liar, it’s important to address the issue carefully. Here are a few steps to consider:

1. Recognize the Patterns

Start by paying attention to the consistency and frequency of the lies. Do they happen out of the blue, with no clear motive? Or is the individual using lies to manage a specific situation? Recognizing these patterns will help you understand whether you’re dealing with a pathological or habitual liar.

2. Set Boundaries

If you’re in a relationship with a liar—whether they’re pathological or habitual—setting clear boundaries is crucial. Let them know that dishonesty is not acceptable, and it’s important to build trust. However, keep in mind that dealing with a pathological liar may require more professional help, as their behavior is often deeply ingrained.

3. Encourage Professional Help

Pathological liars may need therapy to address their compulsive lying behavior, while habitual liars might benefit from counseling to explore why they feel the need to lie in certain situations. In both cases, seeking professional help can be an important step toward healing.

Conclusion: Understanding the Differences

The main takeaway here is that pathological and habitual liars are different in their motives, frequency, and the psychological factors behind their behavior. Pathological liars lie compulsively, often without any clear reason, while habitual liars lie to protect themselves or avoid consequences. Understanding these differences is crucial, especially when it comes to how you respond to and deal with the situation. Recognizing these patterns can help you address the issue more effectively—whether it’s through setting boundaries or seeking professional help.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

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Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

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Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.