Do Controlling Parents Ever Change? The Truth You Need to Know

Understanding Controlling Parents: What’s Behind Their Behavior?

You’ve probably dealt with it, or at least witnessed it: the overbearing, controlling parent who always has something to say about your choices. Whether it’s about your career, relationships, or even how you spend your free time, they seem to have an opinion on everything. But here’s the real question—can controlling parents ever change? Can they loosen their grip, or is it a personality trait they’ll carry for life? This is a question many people struggle with, and let’s be honest, it can be exhausting.

Why Do Parents Become Controlling?

Okay, let’s try to break it down a bit. Many controlling parents often act out of love, but it’s the kind of love that can feel suffocating. They’re often deeply invested in your success and well-being, but sometimes that investment translates into micromanagement. According to psychological studies, some parents may have experienced trauma or insecurity in their own lives, leading them to be overprotective in an attempt to keep their children from facing hardships. But here’s the thing: while it may come from a good place, it often leads to frustration and resentment on both sides.

I remember talking to a friend, Karen, who was dealing with this very issue. She said, “My mom just wants me to be perfect, and it’s like she’s always looking over my shoulder.” That’s exactly the kind of dynamic many people deal with. So, where does that leave us?

Can Controlling Parents Change? The Real Possibilities

Personal Growth and Reflection: Can They Ever See the Light?

The first thing you need to understand is this: Change is possible, but it requires self-awareness. If a controlling parent is willing to reflect on their behavior and recognize how it negatively impacts their child, there’s a chance they can make changes. But here’s the catch—this isn’t an easy thing to do. Change takes time and a willingness to let go of old habits.

Let’s be real. People are creatures of habit, right? And changing something as deeply ingrained as parenting styles? It’s like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. But it’s not impossible. With enough introspection and possibly some professional help (like therapy or counseling), some parents can become more mindful of their controlling tendencies.

The Influence of Therapy and Support Groups

One thing that can really help is therapy. Couples or family therapy can provide a neutral space where controlling parents can listen to their children’s perspectives without feeling attacked. In my own experience, I’ve seen how family therapy helped a friend, Ben, and his mom. Ben’s mom had always been extremely controlling, but after a few sessions with a therapist, she started to realize that her behavior was pushing Ben away rather than helping him. Was it instant? No. But it was a start, and that’s more than many get.

Why Some Controlling Parents Might Never Change

The Root of the Problem: Fear and Insecurity

Let’s get real for a second. Some controlling parents may never change simply because their behavior is tied to deep-rooted fears and insecurities that they’re unwilling or unable to face. These fears could stem from their own childhood experiences or personal regrets. If they’ve always been afraid of losing control, they might continue to hover, even if it’s damaging.

I’ve had this conversation with my cousin, Lisa, a couple of months ago. She was frustrated because her dad still treated her like a child at 30. She mentioned, “I know he’s just trying to protect me, but it feels like he doesn’t trust me to make my own decisions.” And honestly, I get it. Some parents just can’t let go, and no matter how old you are, they still see you as that little kid who needs guidance. But trust me, that doesn’t mean you have to accept it.

Unwillingness to Adapt

Here’s the hard truth: some controlling parents are simply not open to change. They might be so entrenched in their ways that they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior. They could argue that they’re just “looking out for you” or “trying to make sure you don’t make mistakes.” And because they’re not willing to consider another perspective, they’ll never adjust their approach. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s just that they don’t know how to break free from their own patterns.

What You Can Do to Cope with Controlling Parents

Setting Boundaries: A Key to Survival

If you’ve come to the conclusion that your parents aren’t going to change (at least not right away), the best thing you can do is set firm boundaries. This isn’t about shutting them out entirely—it’s about protecting your mental and emotional space. For example, tell them when their input is welcome and when it’s not. Be clear about your needs and your autonomy. Setting boundaries might feel awkward at first, but it’s essential for your well-being.

Open Communication: The Door to Understanding

Another strategy is open communication. Yes, it’s tough—especially when it feels like you’re walking on eggshells. But expressing your feelings and letting them know how their controlling behavior affects you can make a difference. Maybe they’ll never fully understand, but it’s a step towards finding common ground. The more you talk openly, the better the chances of them understanding your perspective, even if it takes a while.

Conclusion: Can They Change?

So, back to the original question: Do controlling parents ever change? The answer is complicated. Yes, they can change, but it requires a lot of self-awareness, patience, and often professional help. However, some might never change due to their own fears or insecurities. In those cases, the best thing you can do is focus on your own growth and protect your boundaries. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

If you’re dealing with a controlling parent, remember: you are not alone. And while you can’t control their behavior, you have the power to control how you respond.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.