Does a Narcissist Get Worse With Age? Uncover the Truth

Understanding Narcissism and Its Evolution Over Time

Honestly, it's something that’s been on my mind for a while. When you’re dealing with a narcissist, one of the most frustrating things is wondering: does it ever get better? I’ve had a few friends mention how their relationships with narcissistic family members, colleagues, or partners seem to get worse over time. And it got me thinking: does narcissism really get worse with age?

Well, after reading, researching, and having a few eye-opening conversations (with some skepticism, of course), it turns out that, yes, in some cases, a narcissist’s behavior may indeed become more pronounced as they grow older. But it’s not all black and white, so let’s break it down.

The Impact of Aging on Narcissistic Behavior

What Happens to a Narcissist as They Age?

First off, let’s clarify what narcissism is. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition marked by an inflated sense of importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. As people age, you might expect them to mellow out—after all, doesn’t wisdom come with age? Well, not always.

When I spoke with a therapist friend of mine, she pointed out an important detail: as narcissists get older, their need for validation doesn’t disappear. In fact, their sense of superiority can become even more entrenched. Narcissists often rely on external admiration and praise to maintain their self-esteem, and as they age, their social circles may shrink. This can intensify their need for attention, sometimes making them more controlling or manipulative.

The Role of Life Changes

Think about it. As people age, life changes can be hard to cope with. Retirement, loss of physical attractiveness, or even health problems can all trigger insecurity in someone with narcissistic tendencies. And if they haven’t developed healthy coping mechanisms over time, they may double down on their narcissistic behaviors to compensate for their fears of losing control.

I remember discussing this with a friend whose father was extremely narcissistic. As he got older, he became even more controlling, constantly demanding attention and throwing tantrums when he didn’t get it. It was clear that his fear of losing power was growing as he got older.

Does Narcissism Improve With Age? The Reality

The Myth of Mellowing Out

I can tell you that mellowing out is often a myth when it comes to narcissism. There’s this common idea that older individuals become more humble or introspective, but that’s not always the case for those with NPD. I used to think that maybe with age, the narcissist in my life would calm down, but let me be clear: that didn’t happen. They only became more covert, more passive-aggressive, and even more isolated.

Sometimes, narcissists become more subtle in their manipulation tactics as they age. They might not have the energy for the loud, bombastic behavior of their younger years, but they may still exhibit controlling or demeaning behavior in more insidious ways. This is a bit tricky to spot, but it’s important to be aware of it.

Can Narcissists Change With Therapy?

Okay, this is where it gets interesting. Honestly, therapy can help narcissists, but it’s a long road. The reality is that narcissistic traits are deeply ingrained in their personalities. It’s hard to shift that core need for admiration and control. Some narcissists might seek therapy when they start feeling the effects of aging (like health issues or relationship breakdowns), but the effectiveness of the treatment depends on the individual’s willingness to change.

But here’s the thing: many narcissists don’t seek therapy unless their behavior causes major problems. And even when they do, they often struggle with the idea that their behavior is a problem in the first place.

The Psychological Reasons Behind Narcissists Getting Worse with Age

Loss of Social Status and Increased Insecurity

So, if you’ve noticed that the narcissist in your life seems more difficult as they age, it’s likely due to growing insecurity. Social status and external admiration are central to a narcissist’s identity, and as they lose these things—whether due to age, health, or career changes—their behavior may worsen.

My cousin had a pretty intense experience with this when his boss, who was a textbook narcissist, was passed over for a promotion. The guy’s behavior went from annoying to downright toxic. He became obsessed with his appearance, overcompensated in meetings, and even started belittling others to make himself feel better. It was sad to watch, honestly.

The Fear of Losing Control

Another psychological factor is the deep-rooted fear of losing control. As a narcissist gets older, they may feel like the world is slipping out of their grasp. This can lead to even more extreme behavior, whether it’s a desperate need for attention, controlling others, or acting out in a way that isolates them further.

I’ve noticed this in my own life as well. The narcissistic individuals I’ve encountered become more demanding as they age, constantly trying to assert their dominance in relationships or situations where they used to be less involved.

Coping Strategies When Dealing With an Older Narcissist

Setting Boundaries

Look, if you have an older narcissist in your life, setting firm boundaries is crucial. I learned the hard way that letting things slide or trying to “keep the peace” only makes things worse. Be clear, be consistent, and stick to your boundaries, even if it means enduring some emotional manipulation or gaslighting.

Focusing on Self-Care

It’s tough dealing with narcissistic behavior, especially as it gets more entrenched with age. Taking care of your mental and emotional health is important. Whether it’s through therapy, talking with supportive friends, or simply taking time for yourself, you need to prioritize your well-being.

Understanding the Limitations of Change

Lastly, you have to accept the reality that people, especially narcissists, don’t change unless they truly want to. If you’re hoping for a miraculous transformation, you’ll likely be disappointed. I’ve learned to accept that and focus on how I can manage my own reactions to their behavior instead.

Conclusion: Does Narcissism Get Worse With Age?

Well, after everything I’ve shared, you can probably guess the answer. Yes, narcissistic behavior can get worse with age. The insecurities, loss of control, and fear of being irrelevant often cause older narcissists to double down on their unhealthy behaviors. But remember, everyone is different, and some narcissists may seek help and grow, though it’s not guaranteed.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist in your life, take care of yourself first and foremost. Set boundaries, stay strong, and don’t expect dramatic changes unless they choose to change themselves. It’s tough, but with the right tools, you can navigate it.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.