How Do You Get Turned On When Depressed? A Real Talk Guide

Can You Even Feel Turned On When You're Depressed?

If you’ve ever struggled with depression, you know it messes with everything—your energy, your motivation, even your ability to enjoy things you once loved. And yeah, that includes sex.

I had a conversation with my friend Jake the other day, and he said something that stuck with me: "Man, I feel like I’ve lost my sex drive completely. Like, I know I should want it, but… I just don’t." And I totally got it.

Depression drains your dopamine and serotonin, two of the big players when it comes to feeling pleasure. So how are you supposed to get turned on when your brain is literally working against you? Let’s break it down.

Why Does Depression Kill Your Sex Drive?

Before jumping into solutions, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: depression doesn’t just make you sad—it numbs you.

How Depression Affects Libido

• Low dopamine = Low desire. Dopamine is the "reward" chemical, and when it’s low, excitement and pleasure feel out of reach.
• Fatigue and exhaustion. If getting out of bed feels impossible, sex might be the last thing on your mind.
• Self-esteem struggles. Depression loves to whisper things like, "You're not attractive," which kills confidence (and desire).
• Medication side effects. Some antidepressants, especially SSRIs, can lower libido even more. (Frustrating, I know.)

So yeah, if you feel like your sex drive is MIA, you’re not broken. It’s just your brain on depression. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it.

How to Reignite Desire When You're Depressed

1. Start With Touch—Even If It’s Just for You

When you’re depressed, sex might feel overwhelming—but intimacy doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Start with gentle, non-sexual touch:

• A warm bath or shower, just feeling the water on your skin.
• Running your fingers over your own arms, neck, or stomach.
• Holding hands or cuddling with a partner (if you have one).

This might sound simple, but when your body has been in shutdown mode, reconnecting with sensation is a huge first step.

2. Reduce the Pressure—It’s Okay to Go Slow

One of the worst things you can do when depressed is force yourself to feel something you don’t. Instead of expecting instant arousal, just focus on curiosity.

Ask yourself:

• What feels good right now?
• Do I enjoy slow, soft touch or firm pressure?
• Is there a fantasy or memory that usually turns me on?

Let yourself explore without pressure to perform. Sometimes, just allowing yourself to feel pleasure—without expectations—can bring back that spark.

3. Change the Mood (Because Environment Matters)

Let’s be real: depression makes everything feel stale. If your brain is stuck in a rut, changing your surroundings can actually help.

Try this:
Dim the lights or light some candles.
Play music that makes you feel sensual or relaxed.
Use scents like vanilla, lavender, or sandalwood to activate your senses.

It might feel silly at first, but your brain responds to cues in your environment. If your room feels like a depression cave, your body isn’t going to switch into pleasure mode easily.

4. Move Your Body (Even Just a Little)

I know, I know—exercise is the last thing you want to hear when you’re depressed. But hear me out:

• Even five minutes of stretching can help get blood flowing.
• A short walk outside? Instant mood boost.
• Dancing alone in your room? Sounds dumb, but it works.

Movement releases endorphins, which naturally lift your mood and can increase your interest in intimacy. You don’t have to run a marathon—just get your body out of that stagnant, low-energy state.

5. Address the Mental Blocks (Because They’re Real)

Depression can fill your head with negative thoughts about your body, your worth, or your desirability. If you’re constantly thinking:

• "I don’t feel attractive."
• "What’s the point?"
• "I’m too tired for this."

…then of course your libido is going to struggle.

Try flipping the script:
Instead of "I don’t feel sexy," try "I deserve to feel good in my body."
Instead of "I’m too tired," try "Maybe I can just start small and see how I feel."

It sounds cheesy, but your thoughts shape your feelings. Give yourself some grace.

6. Talk to Your Partner (Or Yourself)

If you’re in a relationship, don’t suffer in silence. Depression and low libido can make you want to withdraw, but communication is everything.

Try saying:
"Hey, I’ve been feeling disconnected from my body lately. Can we take it slow?"
"I want to feel close to you, but I’m struggling with my energy. Let’s find other ways to connect."

If you’re single, have this conversation with yourself. Be honest about what you need, and don’t judge yourself for where you’re at.

7. If Nothing Works, Consider Professional Help

Look, if you’ve tried everything and your libido is still at zero, it might be time to check in with a doctor or therapist. Sometimes, the issue is deeper—whether it’s hormonal, medication-related, or tied to unresolved emotions.

There’s no shame in getting help. Your mental health and your sexual well-being are connected, and you deserve to feel good in both.

Final Thoughts: Pleasure Is Still Possible

If you’re struggling to feel turned on while dealing with depression, you’re not alone. Your brain and body are going through a lot, and it makes sense that desire takes a backseat.

But pleasure isn’t gone forever. With patience, small steps, and self-compassion, you can reconnect with it.

So, start small. Be kind to yourself. And remember: you are still worthy of feeling good.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.