How Do You Know If It's Love or an Attachment?

Let’s be honest—figuring out whether what you’re feeling is love or just attachment can be confusing as hell. One moment, everything feels magical, like you’ve found the one. The next, you're wondering if you're just afraid of being alone. So… how do you tell the difference?

Love vs. Attachment: What’s the Core Difference?

At its simplest, love is freeing; it expands you. It makes you want to be better, to grow, to give without keeping score. Attachment, on the other hand, is more about needing someone to fill a void—a security blanket disguised as a relationship.

Love says, I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.
Attachment says, I need you to stay because I don’t know who I am without you.

And yeah, sometimes, it’s a blurry line. So let’s dig a little deeper.

Does It Feel Like a Choice or a Dependency?

Love is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and choose this person, not because you have to, but because you want to.

Attachment, though? That’s when the idea of losing them makes you panic—not because of who they are, but because of what they represent. A sense of safety. Familiarity. A way to avoid loneliness. If you find yourself staying in a relationship because the thought of being single is terrifying, that’s a red flag.

I once had a friend—let’s call her Emma—who was in a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside. But the moment she was alone, she felt anxious. It wasn’t about missing him, exactly; it was about needing his presence to feel stable. That’s attachment, not love.

Do You Love Them or the Idea of Them?

This one stings a bit.

Ever fallen for someone’s potential instead of who they actually are? Maybe you tell yourself, Once they open up more, things will be different or They just need time to mature. If you’re holding onto a future version of them instead of loving them as they are today… that’s not love.

Love accepts. Attachment clings to hope.

Are You Growing Together or Just Co-Existing?

Healthy love encourages growth—not just as a couple, but as individuals. You both keep evolving, learning, becoming better versions of yourselves.

Attachment, though, often leads to stagnation. You stay because it’s comfortable, not because you’re actually thriving together. You might even feel a subtle fear that if you change too much, they won’t love you anymore. That’s a major sign that attachment is running the show.

How Do You Feel When You’re Apart?

This one’s a game-changer.

When you truly love someone, you miss them, but you’re still okay on your own. Your world doesn’t crumble just because they’re not around. You still have your own life, your passions, your identity.

But if their absence makes you feel empty, restless, or like you don’t know what to do with yourself? That’s attachment talking. It’s that feeling of needing them to be there just to feel like you exist.

Does the Relationship Bring Peace or Anxiety?

Love is a safe space. Sure, relationships have ups and downs, but deep love feels secure. You don’t spend your nights overanalyzing their texts or worrying that if you say the wrong thing, they’ll leave.

Attachment, however, tends to breed insecurity. You might feel like you’re constantly seeking reassurance, needing proof that they still want you. And when you don’t get it? Anxiety kicks in.

If you find yourself walking on eggshells, fearing abandonment, or needing constant validation, it’s worth asking: Is this really love, or am I just afraid of losing them?

So, How Do You Move from Attachment to Love?

If reading this made you go, Oh crap, I think I’m just attached, don’t panic. Awareness is step one. The next step? Start building your own emotional independence.

• Get comfortable being alone. Find joy outside the relationship—hobbies, friendships, personal growth.
• Check in with yourself. Are you staying because you love them or because you fear being without them?
• Communicate honestly. If your relationship is built on attachment, talk about it. True love grows from honesty, not fear.
• Work on self-love. Because, let’s be real—if you don’t fully love yourself, you might just be using the relationship to fill that gap.

At the end of the day, love should feel like home—not like a lifeline. If you’re clinging, suffocating, or losing yourself in the process, it’s time to take a step back. Real love isn’t about holding on for dear life—it’s about choosing each other, every day, with open hands.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.