In What Three Ways Do We Have Positive Illusions About Ourselves?

The Power of Self-Deception: Why We See Ourselves Differently

Honestly, the way we view ourselves is often filled with a mix of truth, optimism, and a bit of wishful thinking. It’s not that we’re completely delusional, but let’s face it—we all tend to have certain positive illusions about ourselves. It’s a normal part of being human. But, what if I told you that these illusions are not only comforting but also helpful in navigating life? In fact, there are three key ways in which we tend to hold onto positive illusions. Let me break them down for you.

1. The Illusion of Control: We Think We Can Influence Everything

Honestly, I’ve caught myself doing this a lot. Ever tried to plan every detail of your day, thinking that if you just organized things right, everything would fall into place? That’s the illusion of control. It’s the belief that we have more power over events and outcomes than we truly do.

A Personal Story: My Overconfidence in "Controlling" Life

I remember a time when I thought I could control every little detail of a big work project—down to the minute! Spoiler alert: it didn’t go as planned. While I had a plan for every step, external factors like team members’ schedules, unexpected delays, and even simple tech issues threw everything off course. But despite all this, I still believed, deep down, that if I’d just worked a little harder or planned a little better, I could’ve avoided the chaos. This was the illusion of control at its finest.

We all do it, right? We tend to think we have more influence over things like our career, relationships, or even the weather. The reality is, life throws curveballs, and that’s totally okay. But holding onto that illusion sometimes helps us stay motivated and proactive.

2. The Illusion of Uniqueness: We Believe We're Special

Here’s something I’ve noticed over the years—people, including myself, often think that we’re somehow different, better, or more exceptional than the average person. This is what psychologists call the “illusion of uniqueness.” It’s why we feel like our experiences or talents are so unique that they set us apart from others.

The "I'm Special" Trap

Actually, I’ve been there. I used to think I was the only one who could handle stressful situations with a cool head. For a while, I wore that belief like a badge of honor. But, after talking to a friend who had a very similar experience, I realized that my “special skill” wasn’t all that unique. In fact, many people share the same ability, but we tend to overestimate our uniqueness because it feels good. It’s part of the positive illusion that keeps our self-esteem in check. And you know what? That’s totally normal. Everyone needs to feel a little special sometimes.

This illusion also plays into why we often think our mistakes or struggles are uniquely our own. It's comforting to believe that our individual challenges set us apart, but in truth, many others face similar issues. It doesn’t diminish your experience—it just makes you realize you’re not as alone as you might feel.

3. The Illusion of Consistency: We Think We’re More Predictable Than We Are

Now, this one is tricky. We like to believe that we are consistent, that we can predict our future actions based on our past behaviors. But the truth is, people are unpredictable—our moods, circumstances, and even our beliefs shift over time.

The Reality Behind Predictability

I’ll admit it: I thought I was pretty predictable when it came to making decisions. For a while, I was sure that my choices—especially regarding career moves—were grounded in my personality and long-term goals. But when a major opportunity came up, I found myself making a completely different choice than I would’ve predicted based on my past actions. It wasn’t a random decision either; it was based on new insights I gained, but still, it completely challenged my illusion of consistency.

This is something we all struggle with. We tend to think we know what we’ll do in a given situation based on how we've acted in the past. But the truth is, our behavior often changes based on context, new experiences, and growth. And that’s perfectly okay! In fact, it’s a sign of adaptation.

Why These Positive Illusions Matter

So, why do we hold onto these illusions? Is it harmful? Actually, no. In many ways, these illusions protect our mental health. They help us feel more confident, capable, and in control, even when life is unpredictable.

But here’s the thing: it’s important to recognize these illusions for what they are. Once you’re aware of them, you can navigate life with a clearer understanding of your limitations and strengths. Sure, it’s nice to believe that we control everything, but acknowledging the uncontrollable elements of life can be freeing. It allows us to embrace uncertainty and take healthier risks.

Conclusion: Embrace Your Positive Illusions, but Stay Grounded

Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having these positive illusions. They help us stay motivated, feel unique, and provide a sense of consistency in a world that’s constantly changing. But remember, it's also essential to stay grounded. By understanding the ways we deceive ourselves, we can strike a balance between optimism and realism, giving ourselves the space to grow while still staying hopeful and driven.

So, the next time you catch yourself believing you have complete control over everything, or thinking you're uniquely special, take a step back. Embrace those feelings, but remember that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. Life is unpredictable, and that’s what makes it so interesting.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.