Is Blaming Part of ADHD?

Let’s get something straight right from the start: ADHD is often misunderstood. I mean, really, when was the last time you heard someone talk about ADHD without the typical "Oh, they're just not paying attention" comment? Sigh. It's a lot more complex than that. But here's a question I've been thinking about lately: Is blaming part of ADHD?

If you’re someone with ADHD, or if you know someone who has it, you’ve probably heard the term "blame" tossed around a lot, especially when things don’t go according to plan. People tend to point fingers pretty quickly—whether it’s at you for forgetting something (again), or at yourself for not following through. So, is it fair to say that blaming is an inherent part of ADHD? Or is it just a misunderstanding of how ADHD affects behavior?

The ADHD Struggle: More Than Just Forgetfulness

Okay, let’s pause for a second. ADHD isn't just about having a short attention span or being a little more forgetful than the average person. Trust me, it’s so much more than that. The official ADHD diagnosis involves a combination of symptoms like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. These are the things that make it tough to stay organized, follow through on tasks, and remember even the smallest details. It’s not laziness, and it’s not a lack of effort—it's neurological.

But here’s where it gets tricky: ADHD often leads to unintended consequences—things like missing deadlines, forgetting appointments, and making impulsive decisions. And when those things happen, there’s often a knee-jerk reaction to blame someone. That someone is usually the person with ADHD, right?

I can speak from personal experience here. I’ve been late to events (no surprise), missed important emails (yep, even though I read them in my inbox), and said yes to too many things I couldn’t follow through on. And while my intentions were always good, the outcome? Well, let’s just say I’ve had to face some frustrated looks... and not always for the right reasons. People see the results, but they don’t always see the battle going on in the brain behind the scenes.

So, is blaming part of ADHD?

Here’s the thing: Blame itself isn’t a symptom of ADHD. But the tendency for others (and ourselves) to assign blame because of ADHD is very real. When someone with ADHD messes up—whether it's forgetting to call someone back or dropping the ball on a task—the natural reaction is to point a finger. But blaming the person with ADHD for something that was likely due to a lack of focus or impulsivity... that’s not only unfair, it’s counterproductive.

ADHD isn’t about choosing to be careless. It’s about struggling to regulate attention and behavior. And while blaming might feel like a quick fix to explain why something went wrong, it misses the mark on understanding the deeper, often invisible challenges that come with ADHD.

The Impact of Blame: A Cycle of Frustration

Let’s be real for a second: the cycle of blame can be incredibly frustrating. It’s one thing when others blame you for your mistakes (even if they don’t understand what you’re dealing with), but it’s another when you start to blame yourself. And that happens a lot with ADHD.

I’ve had days where I’m late to appointments or I miss a deadline, and the inner dialogue is something like: "Why do I always do this? Why can't I just remember? I'm so lazy. I’m just a mess." That self-blame can spiral quickly and leave you feeling like you're just not good enough.

It’s easy to get caught up in a negative feedback loop when you're constantly told (or think) that your ADHD-related struggles are your fault. But let’s take a step back here—it’s not your fault. ADHD is a legitimate neurodevelopmental condition, and it affects how the brain processes information and controls impulses.

ADHD: A Call for Compassion and Understanding, Not Blame

Here’s the hard truth: ADHD isn’t going away, and neither are the frustrations that come with it. So, how do we break this cycle of blame? Well, the first step is understanding. If you have ADHD, or if you’re interacting with someone who does, try to remember that not everything is in their control. Yes, the person with ADHD might forget something important or interrupt in a conversation, but that doesn't mean they don’t care, or that they’re not trying their best.

And here's where the whole "blaming" thing comes in again: It’s easy for people around us to see the result of our behavior and blame it on lack of effort. But with ADHD, it’s a lot more nuanced. Support and understanding go a long way in managing ADHD. Instead of placing blame, what if we focused on providing the tools and strategies that help people with ADHD function better? Maybe it’s reminders, creating routines, or even just a little more patience from others.

Conclusion: It’s Time to Stop the Blame Game

So, is blaming part of ADHD? Not exactly. But the way ADHD is perceived—often through a lens of frustration and misunderstanding—can lead to a lot of blaming. And while blame isn’t helpful, awareness and compassion are.

ADHD is complex, and the challenges are real. But they don’t define a person’s worth or character. So, next time you catch yourself blaming someone with ADHD (or blaming yourself), try to remember that it's not about lack of willpower—it’s about the brain's wiring, and that’s not something anyone can control.

Let’s start focusing less on who to blame and more on how to support and understand. After all, everyone’s doing their best, right?

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.