The ADHD Signs No One Talks About – Until They Do

I still remember the first time I realized something was off—really off. I was 22, sitting in my car outside a coffee shop, absolutely frozen. Not because of the weather, but because I couldn’t make myself go inside. I had planned this moment. Get coffee, open my laptop, and work on my paper. But now, I was paralyzed by the thought of picking a table. What if someone was sitting too close? What if the music was distracting? What if I got up to go to the bathroom and someone took my seat?

So, I sat there. For 45 minutes. Just thinking. And when I finally started the engine to leave, I had this sinking feeling—why couldn’t I just do things the way everyone else did?

The Silent Struggles No One Sees

That was years before I ever heard the phrase "executive dysfunction." Before I realized that ADHD wasn’t just about being hyperactive or forgetful. Before I knew that so many of us go through life thinking we’re lazy, flaky, or just plain bad at being an adult.

A lot of ADHD signs go unnoticed—not just by others, but by the people who have it. It’s not the bouncing-off-the-walls stereotype we grew up seeing. Sometimes, it looks like:

• Talking too much—but not realizing it until you see someone’s eyes glaze over.
• Forgetting to eat because meals don’t feel urgent.
• Struggling to text back even though you want to.
• Suddenly hyperfixating on a new hobby—buying everything for it—then abandoning it weeks later.
• Being emotionally intense but having no idea why certain things feel so overwhelming.

Sound familiar? That’s because these are some of the most overlooked signs of ADHD. And for a lot of us, they were invisible until someone finally put words to them.

"Wait, That’s ADHD?"

A few years ago, I was at a friend’s apartment, deep into one of those late-night talks where you suddenly spill everything. We were talking about why we sucked at basic life stuff—laundry, bills, remembering birthdays.

“I swear, I’ll be fully aware that I need to do something, but my brain just refuses to start it,” my friend said, flopping onto the couch.

I laughed. “Oh my god, same. The number of times I’ve stared at my inbox knowing I should respond but just… didn’t?”

Her eyes widened. “Wait. That’s ADHD?”

It hit me then. We had both gone years thinking we were just irresponsible. And we weren’t alone. Studies estimate that over 8 million adults in the U.S. have ADHD, but a huge percentage of them—especially women—don’t get diagnosed until later in life. The signs don’t always show up as the “hyperactive kid” stereotype. Sometimes, it’s chronic procrastination, rejection sensitivity, or feeling like a total failure for not “getting it together” the way everyone else seems to.

The History of Missing the Signs

ADHD has been around forever, but the way we understand it has changed massively. Back in the early 1900s, it was called “minimal brain dysfunction” (yikes) and mostly diagnosed in boys who were disruptive in school. Girls? Adults? People who weren’t hyperactive? They didn’t fit the mold, so they got overlooked.

Even now, ADHD in women and non-hyperactive adults is wildly underdiagnosed. Research from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that only 4.4% of U.S. adults are diagnosed with ADHD, but that number is likely way higher in reality.

Think about that—how many people are out there struggling with time management, emotions, and motivation, convinced it’s a personal failing instead of a neurological condition?

The Debate: Is ADHD Overdiagnosed or Just Finally Understood?

This is where things get interesting. Some argue that ADHD is overdiagnosed, especially in kids. Others, particularly in adult mental health circles, believe the exact opposite—people are finally recognizing symptoms that were always there but dismissed as personality flaws.

I once had a coworker say, “Everyone has ADHD these days.” And while I get the skepticism, I also know how many people—myself included—spent years blaming ourselves for things beyond our control.

So, is ADHD being overdiagnosed, or are we just finally catching up to what’s been happening all along? Maybe it’s both. Maybe the sudden awareness is less about “too many diagnoses” and more about an overdue correction of a decades-long blind spot.

Finding the Wins in the Struggle

Here’s the thing—getting diagnosed doesn’t magically fix anything. It doesn’t make deadlines easier or stop you from zoning out mid-conversation. But it does change the way you see yourself.

I used to think I was lazy. Turns out, my brain just needed different strategies. I used to think I was bad at relationships. Turns out, ADHD can make emotional regulation a nightmare. But knowing that? It’s a game changer.

I’ve met so many people who had the same realization. The friend who finally started using timers for tasks instead of expecting “motivation” to kick in. The cousin who figured out that bullet journaling actually helped them focus. The colleague who stopped beating themselves up for needing background noise to work.

That’s the real power in recognizing ADHD—not just the diagnosis, but the understanding that comes with it.

What Now?

So, if you’ve ever wondered why some things feel so much harder than they should… Maybe it’s time to take a closer look. Maybe that endless procrastination isn’t laziness. Maybe the emotional intensity isn’t just you being dramatic. Maybe the struggles aren’t a personal failing.

And maybe—just maybe—you’ve been living with ADHD this whole time, just waiting for someone to name it.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.