Is It Okay to Cut Ties with a Toxic Parent for Your Mental Health?

Is It OK to Cut Ties with a Toxic Parent?

The guilt that never shuts up

When family becomes a trap

Honestly, just writing about this makes my chest tighten a bit. You grow up with this narrative that "family is everything"—like it's some kind of sacred, unbreakable bond. And yeah, I get it. In a perfect world, it should be. But what if your parent is constantly criticizing you, gaslighting you, or making you feel like crap every time you talk to them?

I remember telling my friend Rachel that I hadn’t spoken to my dad in six months, and her first reaction was:

“But... he’s your dad! Don’t you feel bad?”

Yeah, Rachel, I do. Every day. But I also feel more sane.

What does "toxic" even mean?

It's not just about yelling or abuse

Toxicity can be subtle. It can come in the form of manipulative guilt-trips (“after everything I’ve done for you…”), disrespecting boundaries, or playing the victim every time you express a need.

If every interaction leaves you drained, hurt, or doubting your self-worth, that’s not love. That’s emotional corrosion. And it eats at you over time—trust me.

But... they're your parent, right?

Cultural and emotional pressure

In so many cultures, including mine, there's this unspoken rule: you don’t turn your back on your parents. Period. I mean, come on—how many times have you heard “honor thy father and mother”? It’s baked into religion, society, tradition... guilt.

But here's the thing I realized talking to my therapist (shout-out to Dr. Martin, who’s saved me more times than I can count):

"Respect goes both ways. And love without respect is just control in disguise."

Mic. Drop.

The emotional toll of staying connected

You can love someone... and still protect yourself

I spent years trying to “fix” things. Long messages. Heartfelt talks. Apologies for stuff I shouldn’t have apologized for. But nothing changed. If anything, it got worse.

There was one phone call—I’d just gotten a job I was really proud of—and when I told my mom, she said:

“Well, that’s not really a serious career.”

I hung up. And I cried. Like ugly cried. That was the moment something clicked: “I can’t keep bleeding for someone who doesn’t even notice I’m cut.”

How to make the decision (because it's huge)

Ask yourself a few brutal questions

• Do I feel safe around them, emotionally or physically?

• Have I clearly communicated my boundaries—and were they ignored?

• Am I constantly anxious before or after speaking with them?

• Is this relationship helping me grow—or keeping me stuck?

And here's one that hit me hard:

Would I accept this behavior from a friend or partner?

If the answer is no... why is it okay just because they're blood?

What happened after I cut ties

Painful, peaceful, and a weird kind of grief

The first month? Awful. I kept waiting for a text, a call, something. It never came. But then... I started sleeping better. I laughed more. I stopped bracing for emotional punches that never landed.

I won’t lie—holidays are weird. Sometimes I still feel like a terrible person. But I also feel free. Not in a "woohoo, I ditched my family" kind of way, but in a “my healing matters too” kind of way.

So... is it okay?

Yes. Yes, it’s okay.
If you’ve tried. If you’ve been hurt. If it’s harming your mental health.
Cutting ties isn’t hate. It’s protection. It’s not revenge. It’s release.

You’re not broken for needing space. You’re brave for choosing peace over chaos. And hey—if one day reconciliation becomes possible and healthy—great. But you don’t owe anyone your sanity, not even your parent.

And if someone tells you otherwise, you can tell them:
“I chose me. Finally.”

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.