Is It OK to Cut a Family Member Out of Your Life? The Hard Truth

Understanding the Emotional Impact of Cutting a Family Member Off

Well, this is a tough one, isn’t it? Honestly, the idea of cutting a family member out of your life feels like something straight out of a soap opera, but for many people, it’s a painful, real decision.

I was talking to a close friend of mine, Lisa, not long ago. She had been struggling with whether or not to cut ties with her cousin, who had been toxic for years. It hit me hard because, frankly, I could see the toll it was taking on her. But the question is, Is it OK to do that?

First things first: you need to understand that family doesn’t always equal healthy. I know, it’s a bit jarring to say out loud. We grow up thinking that family is supposed to be supportive, loving, and your solid base, but that’s not always the case. Some family members can be toxic, abusive, or even just a constant source of negativity. In situations like these, it’s okay to step back and reassess whether they deserve a place in your life.

When Cutting a Family Member Out is the Right Decision

Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Relationship

You might be thinking, “How do I even know if it’s the right time?” Well, let’s break it down. There’s a difference between the occasional family argument and a relationship that consistently drains you.

I’ve had my own experience with this. There was a time when I had to distance myself from a cousin who, frankly, never had anything nice to say. After every interaction, I felt emotionally exhausted. Every. Single. Time.

Some clear signs that it might be time to let go of a family member include:

• Emotional Manipulation: If they are constantly making you feel guilty or responsible for their feelings, it's a red flag.

• Disrespect: A family member who continually disrespects your boundaries or makes you feel less than, should not have the privilege of being in your life.

• Toxic Patterns: If you find yourself stuck in unhealthy cycles of conflict or pain, and no resolution seems possible, it may be time to step away.

It might hurt at first, but I promise you, the peace you’ll find by removing toxic relationships is worth it.

Your Mental and Emotional Health Matters

It’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being. Actually, it’s necessary. Cutting someone out of your life isn’t about hate; it’s about protecting your mental health. When I made the decision to distance myself from that cousin, I felt lighter, more focused, and emotionally free. I didn’t realize how much emotional weight I was carrying until I let it go.

The Consequences of Cutting a Family Member Out

Dealing with the Guilt and Judgment

Honestly, one of the toughest parts about cutting a family member out is the guilt. You might feel like you’re doing something wrong, or even worse, that you’re breaking some unspoken family code. "What will everyone think?" "Am I a bad person for doing this?"

I get it. When I made the choice to go no-contact with a family member, I was terrified of the judgment. People might talk, they might choose sides, and there may be some uncomfortable silences at family gatherings. It’s definitely not easy. But let me tell you—sometimes, the people who judge you the hardest don’t understand the full picture of your relationship.

The Ripple Effect: What Happens Next

After cutting that toxic family member out, things got a little awkward with other relatives. Some of them didn’t agree with my decision, but most of them respected it. There was this awkward period where I felt like I had to justify myself, but eventually, things calmed down.

You’ll probably face a similar situation. It’s not easy to stand firm in your decision, but remember, it’s your life. You're not obligated to keep someone in your circle just because they share your bloodline. In fact, keeping toxic people around might harm your other relationships, too.

How to Cut a Family Member Off Respectfully

Setting Boundaries Before Going No-Contact

Okay, so let's say you're leaning towards cutting a family member off, but you're unsure how to do it without causing too much drama. Setting clear boundaries before going no-contact can make the process smoother.

I’ve been through this as well. When I distanced myself from my cousin, I started with boundaries: I was clear about what I wouldn’t tolerate anymore—disrespect, manipulation, or constant negativity. I made it clear that I wouldn’t engage in those types of conversations, and if they continued, we would need some space.

It wasn’t easy, but it worked. If you're not ready to go full no-contact, maybe start by limiting your interactions. Set specific times when you’re available to talk, and let them know when you won’t be.

No Contact Doesn’t Mean No Closure

I get that closure is important. If you can, have a final conversation where you explain why you're making this decision. It’s not always possible, and sometimes it’s better not to engage, but if you feel safe doing so, go ahead. You might feel better afterward, or you might realize that some people simply aren’t worth the energy.

Moving Forward After Cutting Ties

Embrace Your New Peace

Once you've made the tough decision and given yourself the space you deserve, you’ll start to notice something—peace. You’ll feel lighter, freer, and maybe even a little more yourself.

I remember the first time I spent a family holiday without that cousin. It was like the air had cleared. Sure, there were moments of missing the family dynamic, but I realized that my emotional health was way more important than holding onto a relationship that was doing me no good.

Build Supportive Relationships

Now that you've cut the toxic ties, it’s time to focus on building relationships that nurture you. Surround yourself with people who respect you, lift you up, and genuinely care about your well-being.

I know it’s not always easy, but as you move forward, you’ll find that there are people who love and support you in ways your toxic family member never did. It’s about surrounding yourself with positivity and kindness.

So, to answer the question—yes, it's OK to cut a family member out of your life. It’s not an easy decision, and it comes with its own set of challenges, but sometimes it’s necessary for your peace of mind. You deserve to have relationships that enrich your life, not drag you down. If someone in your family is consistently harmful, don’t feel bad about setting that boundary. You’re doing what’s best for you.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.