Is it OK to read your spouse's text messages?

Is It OK to Read Your Spouse's Text Messages? Truth Hurts

Why the urge even comes up

Let’s be honest: the thought doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. If you're tempted to read your spouse's texts, chances are... something feels off. Maybe it’s a gut feeling. Or just plain insecurity.

But the deeper question is—does the urge justify the action? Eh, let’s unpack that.

Trust vs. transparency: where’s the line?

What trust should feel like

Trust isn’t about “not needing to check.” It’s about not wanting to. In a healthy relationship, you don’t sit there thinking, “I wonder who they’re texting at 11:47 p.m.”

Ideally, both partners feel safe enough to share stuff willingly—without needing to dig.

But what about transparency?

Yeah, modern relationships love this word. “We should have no secrets.”
Sounds romantic, but here’s the deal: privacy isn’t secrecy. Everyone has the right to personal space—even in marriage.

My friend Matt once told me, “I gave my wife my passcode the day we got engaged... but she never once used it. That’s what made me trust her more.” Respect builds safety—not surveillance.

The emotional fallout of snooping

You find nothing

Congrats... now you just feel weird. Maybe even guilty.
That nagging suspicion? Still there.
Because snooping doesn’t fix the why—it only feeds the what if.

You find something minor

A flirty text? An old convo with an ex? Something kinda shady but not full-blown cheating?
Now what? You’re stuck in limbo. Angry, hurt... but unsure if you have a right to be.

One woman wrote in a forum: “He liked a heart emoji from a coworker. I went down a spiral for 3 days. And he still doesn’t know I checked.”
See the cycle? It eats at you—from both sides.

You find actual betrayal

Yes, sometimes your gut is right. But even then—reading texts secretly can complicate things. Instead of confrontation with integrity, it becomes a “gotcha” moment.
And that makes healing harder.

Is it ever justified?

The gray area

In cases of suspected abuse, manipulation, or repeated lies—yes, reading messages might be a form of self-protection.
You have to trust your safety instinct.

But if it’s about curiosity, jealousy, or boredom? That’s more about you than them.
Harsh, maybe. But true.

Consider this instead

Before picking up their phone:

• Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of finding?”

• Can I talk to them openly instead?

• Am I ready for any answer—even one I don’t like?

Sometimes just voicing your discomfort starts a bigger (and better) conversation.

What should couples do instead?

Create boundaries together

Set the rules early:

• Are phones private?

• Can you look if you’re concerned?

• How do you both define "cheating" digitally?

It’s not about permissions. It’s about clarity.

Build more safety, not more rules

If both of you feel secure, phones become boring. You don’t want to check, because there’s no threat in the air.
That doesn’t come from rules—it comes from time, honesty, and little everyday choices.

Final thought: curiosity isn’t always worth the damage

Reading your spouse’s messages might give you answers. But it might also break something you can't put back together.

So is it OK to read their texts?
Technically, maybe.
Emotionally? That depends on what you're willing to risk.

Sometimes the real question isn’t “what are they hiding?”
It’s: “Why don’t I feel safe enough to ask?”

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

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Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

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Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.