Is It Selfish to Not Want Kids? Unpacking the Modern Debate

The Question That Won't Quit

“Is it selfish to not want kids?” That question pops up again and again—in conversations, social media debates, even awkward family dinners. And honestly? There’s no neat, one-size-fits-all answer. For some, deciding not to have children feels like a deeply personal, well-thought-out choice. For others, it raises eyebrows or triggers emotional reactions. But why is that?

Let’s dive into the real reasons this topic hits such a nerve, and whether choosing a child-free life is truly about selfishness—or something else entirely.

Understanding the Concept of Selfishness

What Does "Selfish" Even Mean?

First off, let’s clarify what we mean by “selfish.” At its core, being selfish implies acting mainly in your own interest, often at the expense of others. But here’s the catch—not wanting kids doesn’t inherently harm anyone. It’s more about not creating someone than taking something away.

Sure, some might argue that humanity “needs” people to keep reproducing, but is that really on the shoulders of every single person? Honestly, the planet is already struggling to sustain us all (hello, climate crisis), so that argument might not hold as much weight today as it did 50 years ago.

Cultural vs. Personal Values

Selfishness is often a projection of cultural values. In many societies, having kids is seen as a moral good—a kind of life achievement badge. So when someone opts out, it's like they’re refusing to play by the rules. But are those rules even relevant anymore?

Personal Autonomy and the Right to Choose

You Do You (Seriously)

Here’s the thing: deciding not to have kids is a deeply personal decision. Whether it’s due to career goals, mental health, finances, or simply not feeling the desire, that choice deserves respect. Not everyone feels that deep biological urge—and that’s okay.

And let’s be real: plenty of people who do have kids aren’t doing it for entirely “selfless” reasons either. Sometimes it’s pressure. Sometimes it’s tradition. And sometimes it’s... well, an accident. So are they more virtuous for having gone through with it? Eh, not necessarily.

Environmental and Economic Considerations

The Planet’s Not Getting Any Bigger

This is where it gets interesting. Some people cite environmental reasons for not having kids. Each new human comes with a carbon footprint, and studies show that having one fewer child can massively reduce an individual’s lifetime emissions.

Is that selfish? Or actually kind of noble?

Then there's the economic angle. Raising a child costs—on average—over $230,000 in the U.S. alone (and that’s before college). In some countries, social support helps, but still... it’s a big ask. Not everyone’s up for it, and that’s valid.

Social Pressure and Judgment

The Guilt Trip Is Real

Ah yes, the classic guilt trip. “But who will take care of you when you’re old?” “You’ll change your mind!” “You’re missing out on life’s greatest joy!”

Look, those questions usually come from a place of love—or fear. Parents want grandkids. Friends want to compare stories. Society likes predictability. But none of that obligates anyone to follow the script.

Plus, not wanting kids doesn’t mean someone hates them. They might be the best aunt, uncle, mentor, teacher... you name it. Contributing to the next generation doesn’t always require diapers and daycare.

Changing the Narrative

Let’s be honest—this conversation is changing. More people are speaking openly about living child-free. Celebrities, public figures, regular folks on TikTok. The stigma’s still there, but it’s starting to crack.

And maybe, just maybe, we’re realizing that “selfishness” isn’t the problem. It’s the assumptions we build around it.

Final Thoughts: It’s Complicated (But That’s Okay)

So... is it selfish to not want kids?

Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how you define selfish. But more importantly, maybe that’s the wrong question altogether. Instead of judging the choice, what if we asked: Is this person living a thoughtful, intentional life? Are they contributing in their own way? Are they content?

Not everyone needs to reproduce to have a meaningful, generous, beautiful life. And that’s not selfish—it’s just different.

And hey, different’s not so bad.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.