What Does Emotional Neglect Look Like from a Parent?

Recognizing Emotional Neglect: The Invisible Hurt

Honestly, emotional neglect from a parent can be so subtle that it often goes unnoticed for years. I’ve had conversations with friends who only realized they’d experienced emotional neglect much later in life. It’s one of those things that, at first, doesn’t seem like a big deal but, over time, it can have a huge impact on your mental health and relationships.

So, what does emotional neglect actually look like? Well, it’s not about outright abuse. It’s not about a parent being overtly cruel or violent. Emotional neglect is much more insidious – it's the absence of the emotional care a child needs to thrive.

Signs of Emotional Neglect from a Parent

1. A Lack of Emotional Support

One of the first signs of emotional neglect is simply a lack of emotional support. Parents are supposed to be there to listen to you when you're upset, to offer comfort when you're sad, and to celebrate when you're happy. But what if they’re always distant or unavailable, emotionally speaking?

I remember growing up feeling like I couldn’t really turn to my parents when something was bothering me. It wasn’t that they didn’t love me, but they were always too busy or didn’t know how to help me process my feelings. Maybe you’ve felt the same way—like your emotional needs were secondary to everything else in your household.

2. Lack of Validation or Acknowledgment of Emotions

Another clear sign of emotional neglect is when your emotions are constantly dismissed or ignored. Have you ever tried to express how you feel, and your parent either brushes it off with something like "stop being so dramatic" or simply doesn’t acknowledge it at all?

Honestly, I’ve been there. As a kid, if I was upset about something, it often felt like I was being told that my feelings weren’t important or that I shouldn’t feel the way I did. That kind of response can make you feel invalidated and can even lead you to question your own emotions.

3. Emotional Unavailability or Detachment

When a parent is emotionally unavailable, they’re not there for you in any meaningful way. They may physically be present but emotionally distant. Maybe they’re constantly preoccupied, or they shut down when it comes to emotional conversations.

I’ve known people who grew up with parents who were physically around but emotionally checked out, and it left them with a lingering sense of abandonment. It’s like you’re left to figure out how to cope with your emotions on your own, even though you’re just a child.

The Impact of Emotional Neglect on Children

1. Struggles with Self-Esteem

Emotional neglect can lead to long-lasting issues with self-esteem. As a child, when your feelings aren’t acknowledged, you start to feel like you’re not worth attention or care. This can follow you into adulthood, making you question your worth in relationships or in your personal and professional life.

A friend of mine once confided that growing up with emotionally neglectful parents led them to constantly seek validation from others, because they never received it at home. This need for external approval became a pattern in their adult relationships, and it took years of therapy to unravel it.

2. Difficulty with Relationships

Emotional neglect can also affect how you form relationships later in life. If you didn’t get the emotional nourishment you needed from a parent, you might struggle to connect with others on a deeper level. It’s not that you don’t want love, but sometimes it feels almost impossible to open up or trust people completely.

I’ve seen this with several people, and I’ve experienced it too. In relationships, you sometimes feel like there’s a wall up because you’re not used to having your emotional needs met. It can make intimacy feel awkward or even scary.

What Can You Do About Emotional Neglect?

1. Acknowledge and Understand It

Honestly, the first step to healing from emotional neglect is recognizing it for what it is. It’s not always easy, especially when your parent wasn’t intentionally neglectful. But once you can identify the patterns, you can start to address the feelings you’ve been carrying around for so long.

It took me a while to recognize that emotional neglect was part of my upbringing. Once I acknowledged it, it was like I could finally start working through some of the issues I’d carried into adulthood.

2. Seek Professional Help

Talking to a therapist or counselor can be incredibly helpful. They can help you unpack the emotional neglect and provide tools to help you manage the effects it has on your life. You don’t have to do it alone.

I can’t stress this enough—therapy was a game changer for me. It allowed me to understand how emotional neglect had shaped my views on relationships and how to start building healthier connections.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

It’s easy to get mad at yourself for the ways you’ve been affected by emotional neglect. You might even feel like there’s something wrong with you. But the reality is, emotional neglect is not your fault. Practicing self-compassion and forgiving yourself for the ways you’ve internalized neglect is an essential part of the healing process.

Moving Forward: Breaking the Cycle

If you’ve experienced emotional neglect, it’s important to remember that it doesn’t define you. I know it’s hard, and it feels like there’s this deep void that you need to fill. But acknowledging the impact it has on your life and taking steps to heal is the first step toward breaking the cycle.

It’s not about blaming your parents; it’s about understanding how emotional neglect affected you and making conscious choices to take care of your emotional needs. By doing so, you can build healthier relationships with others and, most importantly, with yourself.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.