How Do Children of Narcissists Feel About Their Upbringing and Emotional Wellbeing?

How Do Children of Narcissists Feel? The Hidden Emotional Struggles

Growing Up with a Narcissistic Parent: What Does It Really Feel Like?

Well, let me tell you—it’s complicated. If you’ve grown up with a narcissistic parent, you probably already know that the emotional impact can be overwhelming. It’s like living in a world where your feelings are always secondary to someone else’s needs and wants. I’ve had a few conversations with friends who have experienced this firsthand, and honestly, their stories gave me chills. The emotional struggles are real, and many of them remain hidden behind closed doors.

Children of narcissists often feel invalidated, neglected, and confused. There’s a constant push-pull of wanting affection but never getting it on your terms. It’s like always walking on eggshells, waiting for the next emotional storm to hit. But here’s the thing: growing up this way can have long-lasting effects. The question is, how do these kids actually feel? Let’s break it down.

Emotional Neglect and Low Self-Worth

If there’s one thing children of narcissists know, it’s that their feelings often don’t matter. I remember a conversation with my friend Sarah—she grew up with a narcissistic father—and she told me how she was always ignored, even when she was upset. Her dad would make everything about him. It’s a pattern I’ve heard too often: narcissistic parents tend to make their children feel like they exist to serve their emotional needs. If you don’t meet those needs, you’re discarded. And that leads to emotional neglect.

The Struggle with Self-Worth

Many children of narcissistic parents grow up with poor self-esteem. Because their emotional needs were consistently overlooked, they begin to believe their own feelings are worthless. They might think, “If I don’t matter to my parent, why should I matter to anyone?” And this thought process can persist well into adulthood. Honestly, it can feel like you're constantly searching for validation and never quite finding it.

Confusion and Emotional Rollercoasters

Growing up with a narcissist is like being stuck in an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, you might feel adored and loved, and the next, you’re left in the cold with no explanation. Narcissistic parents have this tendency to idealize their children and then devalue them just as quickly. It’s confusing, to say the least.

Gaslighting and Manipulation

One of the worst things about having a narcissistic parent is the constant gaslighting. I had a conversation with my friend Tom about this once, and he was just shaking his head, telling me how his mother used to twist everything he said. If he told her he was hurt by something she did, she would turn it around and make him feel like he was the problem. It’s exhausting. And over time, you start questioning your reality—was that really as bad as I thought, or was I overreacting? This constant manipulation can make you feel like you’re losing your grip on your emotions, leading to anxiety and confusion.

Living in a World of Unrealistic Expectations

Honestly, children of narcissists are often burdened with unrealistic expectations. Parents who have narcissistic traits tend to expect their children to be perfect, often seeing them as extensions of themselves. There’s this constant pressure to succeed, to be the best, or to reflect the image that the narcissistic parent wants to project. If you fail to meet those expectations, the emotional fallout can be huge. I’ve seen this play out in real life with a friend of mine, Emma, whose mother would constantly compare her to others—usually in a way that made Emma feel like she wasn’t good enough.

Can Children of Narcissists Ever Heal?

So, let’s talk about healing. The good news is that, yes, it is possible. But it’s a long, painful road. Growing up with a narcissistic parent leaves emotional scars that can take years to overcome. Therapy is often essential in helping people untangle these deep-rooted issues. I’ve spoken to people who’ve gone through this journey, and while it’s not easy, they say the first step is recognizing the problem for what it is.

It’s crucial to remember that these feelings of inadequacy, confusion, and neglect are not your fault. Narcissistic parents have a way of making their children feel like they’re the ones to blame for everything that goes wrong. But it’s not true. It’s their behavior, not yours, that creates these issues.

What Can You Do to Help a Child of a Narcissist?

If you’re a friend, relative, or even a therapist, helping children of narcissists requires compassion and understanding. Listen without judgment, offer validation, and help them recognize that their feelings are legitimate. It can also help to introduce them to healthy emotional coping mechanisms. It’s a tough situation, but the right support can make all the difference.

Final Thoughts: Breaking Free from the Narcissistic Cycle

To sum it up, children of narcissists often feel abandoned, manipulated, and like they are never enough. Their self-worth takes a hit, and they struggle with confusing, often painful emotional dynamics. But with time, support, and the right guidance, they can heal and learn to thrive. If you or someone you know is going through this, know that it’s possible to break free from the cycle. The first step? Recognizing that you deserve better—and that your feelings are valid.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.