Why Do Kids Act Out More with One Parent?

It’s Not Just in Your Head: Kids Really Do Act Differently

Have you ever noticed your child acting like a complete angel with their teacher or the other parent, but the second they see you, the meltdowns begin? You're not imagining it. It’s actually a well-documented psychological pattern, and yep — it can be super frustrating. But before you feel personally attacked (we’ve all been there), it helps to understand what’s going on beneath the surface.

And just so you know? It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Attachment and Safety: The Core of It All

The “Safe Space” Effect

Here’s the deal: kids often act out with the parent they feel safest with. It sounds kinda backwards, right? But it makes sense if you think about it. When children know that a parent’s love is unconditional, they feel free to “let it all out.” All the bottled-up frustration from school, the sibling fights, the minor injustices of the day — they explode, but only where they feel totally secure.

So ironically, if your kid is flipping tables when they’re with you and not the other parent, it may mean you're the one they trust the most. Doesn’t always feel like a compliment, though.

Emotional Dumping (aka meltdown central)

Especially after long days (school, daycare, noisy playdates), kids don’t always have the language or patience to say, “Mom, I had a rough day.” Instead, they scream because you gave them the wrong spoon. It’s called emotional dumping, and it’s a real thing. You're the sponge.

Parenting Styles and Boundaries

Different rules = different behaviors

Let’s be honest: many co-parents don’t have the exact same rules. One might allow screen time after dinner, the other might say nope. One might calmly enforce bedtime, the other might give in after five rounds of negotiation.

Kids are extremely perceptive. They pick up on these inconsistencies and quickly figure out where the boundaries are looser. It's not manipulation per se (okay, sometimes it is), but it's definitely strategy. And if they know one parent’s “no” really means “maybe,” guess where the drama shows up?

Discipline vs. Connection

Some kids act out more with the “disciplinarian” parent — they may feel frustrated or powerless. Others might act out with the more nurturing parent — because they expect comfort no matter what. It’s not about being the “bad guy” or the “soft one,” it’s about emotional dynamics. And sometimes those roles even flip, depending on the kid’s age or stage.

Personality Clashes and Temperament

Some combos are just trickier

Let’s say a parent is super organized, punctual, needs structure. And the kid? Pure chaos energy. That’s a recipe for clashes. Not because either is “wrong,” but because temperaments don’t always align. The more your natural styles differ, the more tension tends to show up — even if the love is 100% there.

Also, some kids are more sensitive. Others are more reactive. Put a sensitive child with an anxious parent? That can be a tough loop to break.

The Role of Stress and Environment

Kids feel what you feel

If one parent is juggling work stress, house stuff, and has been running on five hours of sleep for the past… month, that kid’s gonna feel it. Children absorb emotional energy like little antennas. They might not understand why you're tense, but they’ll mirror it.

So sometimes the acting out isn’t even about you — it’s about your vibe. And that can be hard to accept (ugh, I know), but once you see it, you can start shifting things.

The invisible triggers

Routine changes, noise levels, even diet — they all play a role. If the parent who's home more often happens to deal with post-nap grumps, snack cravings, and sibling squabbles, of course they get the worst behavior. It’s not favoritism. It’s just… math.

So What Can You Do About It?

• Stay consistent with boundaries (even if you're the “fun” parent).

• Recognize the behavior isn’t personal. It’s emotional release, not rebellion.

• Talk with your co-parent about syncing rules and routines.

• Validate their feelings without giving in to tantrums. ("I get you're upset, but we still need to brush teeth.")

• Take care of yourself. Seriously. Regulated parent = calmer kid. Most of the time, anyway.

Look — if your child is acting out more with you, don’t panic. It probably means they feel safe enough to fall apart in your presence. It’s exhausting, yes. But also… kind of beautiful. Kids don't need perfect parents. They need present ones.

Even the messy, tired, "why me again" ones.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.