How to Deal with a Gaslighting Partner: A Survival Guide

What is Gaslighting and Why Does It Happen?

Okay, let’s be real—gaslighting is one of those things you never think will happen to you. You might think it’s just some psychological term thrown around on social media, but if you’ve been in a relationship with a gaslighting partner, you know it’s anything but casual. Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where your partner makes you question your reality. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is. And it's exhausting.

Honestly, I remember when I first realized what was happening to me in a past relationship. I’d have conversations where I knew something happened a certain way, but my partner would twist it so much that I’d end up doubting my own memory. "Did I really say that?" "Am I overreacting?" After a while, you start to feel like you’re losing it, which is exactly the goal of gaslighting.

But let’s back up—gaslighting isn’t just about one argument or disagreement. It's a pattern of behavior that makes you feel insecure and powerless. It can involve denying things that happened, belittling your feelings, or even accusing you of being the one who’s crazy.

Why Do Partners Gaslight?

It’s not always about being malicious, though. Some partners gaslight because they want to maintain control over the relationship or avoid accountability. In some cases, it could be a defense mechanism to cover up their own insecurities or guilt. However, regardless of the reason, the impact on you is the same: it makes you feel less than you are, and it creates confusion in your mind.

Recognizing Gaslighting Behavior

So, how do you know if you’re dealing with a gaslighter? Here are a few red flags that I’ve personally noticed and that are backed by experts:

1. They Deny or Twist the Truth

You’re pretty sure something happened the way you remember it, but they completely deny it. "No, that’s not what happened," they say. "You’re just being dramatic." Over time, this can cause you to doubt your own perception of reality.

2. They Make You Feel Like You’re ‘Crazy’

Anytime you express your feelings or concerns, they turn it around on you. "You’re overreacting." "You always take things too personally." Sound familiar? I’ve been there. It makes you feel like you are the one with the problem, not them.

3. They Isolate You from Others

Gaslighters often try to cut you off from family and friends. They’ll make you feel like the people around you are the ones causing issues or that they don’t have your best interest at heart. It's like a way to make you more dependent on them. I remember a friend of mine—let's call her Emma—going through this. Her partner kept telling her that her friends didn’t care about her, and she ended up cutting ties with many of them. It wasn’t until later that she realized how much manipulation was involved.

4. They Play the Victim

No matter what happens, they twist it around so that they are the victim. If you point out how their behavior hurts you, they might say something like, "Why are you always blaming me? I never do anything right!" I’ve fallen for this, too. It’s such a mind game that you end up feeling sorry for them instead of addressing the issue.

How Do You Deal with Gaslighting?

Alright, so now you know the signs. But how do you handle it? Well, it’s not easy, but here are some strategies that can help.

1. Trust Your Instincts and Document Things

One of the first steps in dealing with a gaslighting partner is trusting your own reality. I’ve learned the hard way that when you’re gaslit, you start to second-guess yourself. Write things down—dates, conversations, events—as much as it feels like you’re overdoing it, it helps. Even simple things like jotting down how you feel in a journal can reinforce your sense of self. This is something that helped me when I was in a similar situation.

2. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

This one’s tough. Gaslighters are notorious for pushing boundaries. But setting clear, firm boundaries is key. For example, if your partner tries to twist a situation or belittle your feelings, let them know that it's not okay. It’s hard because they might make you feel guilty or try to manipulate your emotions, but stick to your guns.

3. Seek Support from Trusted People

You might start to feel isolated, like your reality is just a fog of confusion. That’s why having a support system is so important. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings. Don't doubt yourself. A friend of mine, let's call her Sophie, shared her experience with me—she was in a similar relationship and ended up finding clarity just by talking about it. Sometimes just having someone validate your feelings can break that fog.

4. Consider Therapy or Counseling

If you can, speak to a therapist. It helped me to talk things through with a professional when I was in a gaslighting relationship. Therapy provides you with the tools to rebuild your confidence and trust in your own perception of reality. You can learn to cope with the emotional scars gaslighting leaves behind.

5. Know When to Walk Away

This is probably the hardest part. But sometimes, the healthiest option is to leave. If your partner continues to gaslight you despite your efforts to address it, it may be time to move on. Staying in that kind of relationship only damages your self-worth in the long run. You deserve to be with someone who supports and respects you, not someone who makes you feel crazy for feeling valid emotions.

Final Thoughts: Gaslighting Can Be Overcome

Honestly, dealing with a gaslighting partner is one of the most challenging emotional experiences. But you can take control of your life again. Trust yourself, set those boundaries, and remember—you are not crazy. You are valid. You deserve a partner who respects your reality, not someone who manipulates it.

I know it might feel overwhelming, but if you recognize the signs and take action, you can rebuild your sense of self. And, most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek help. You’re not alone in this.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.