Do Narcissists Try to Control Your Life: Signs of Manipulation and Gaslighting?

Do Narcissists Try to Control Your Life?

Understanding Narcissistic Control: What You Need to Know

Well, if you've ever wondered if narcissists try to control your life, you’re not alone. This is something I’ve thought about a lot. In fact, I had a close friend once who was involved with someone who exhibited narcissistic traits, and let me tell you – it wasn't just frustrating, it was exhausting. Narcissists often try to manipulate situations to their advantage, and controlling your life is part of that. But why do they do this? And how can you spot it?

The Narcissistic Personality: Control as a Power Play

What is a Narcissist, Really?

Okay, so let’s start by defining what we mean by “narcissist.” Narcissism isn’t just about being self-centered or obsessed with your looks. It’s a personality disorder, and when someone has this disorder, their need for admiration, control, and validation can be overwhelming. It's about power, not just vanity.

The thing is, narcissists often don’t feel secure in themselves. They rely on others to give them the attention and approval they crave. This often leads them to manipulate those around them. Trust me, I’ve seen this firsthand with my own friend who was dealing with a narcissistic partner. It wasn’t just little things—it was big, obvious attempts to control decisions, friendships, and even daily habits.

The Need for Dominance

Honestly, narcissists thrive on control. They might start off small, by telling you how to dress, who to hang out with, or even subtly guiding your decisions. Over time, though, these actions escalate into something much more toxic. Narcissists love to dominate relationships because it feeds their fragile ego. They want to make sure you’re always dependent on them for validation, approval, and – yeah – your happiness.

Gaslighting: One of Their Favorite Tactics

What Exactly is Gaslighting?

If you’ve never heard the term "gaslighting" before, it's basically a manipulation tactic where someone makes you question your own reality. Narcissists are experts at this. They twist things around so you end up doubting your memory, perception, and sanity. This is how they try to control your life: by distorting the truth and getting you to believe things that aren't true.

I remember a time when my friend’s partner told her she was "overreacting" every time she pointed out a red flag. Even when she had concrete evidence, he’d manage to flip the situation, making her feel crazy for even thinking he was doing something wrong. It’s infuriating, and honestly, this is a major sign of narcissistic control.

How Gaslighting Affects Your Decision-Making

What’s so insidious about gaslighting is that it undermines your ability to make decisions. Eventually, you start second-guessing everything. "Did I really see that? Was I really right about what I heard?" Narcissists know that once they have you questioning your own judgment, they’ve got the upper hand. You're less likely to stand up for yourself or make decisions independently. And that’s the control they thrive on.

Narcissists and Their Need for Isolation

Why Do Narcissists Isolate You?

Okay, here’s another sneaky thing narcissists do: they often try to isolate you from your friends and family. Why? Because it makes you more reliant on them. The less contact you have with people who can support and ground you, the easier it is for a narcissist to control your thoughts, actions, and even emotions.

I’ve heard people in narcissistic relationships say things like, “I don’t know why, but they just don’t want me to hang out with anyone else.” It’s like they’ll criticize your friends, make them seem untrustworthy, or even guilt-trip you into staying away from them. And once you’re cut off from your support system, the narcissist has you all to themselves. The level of control they can exert over your life is staggering.

The Subtle Art of Manipulation

Honestly, it’s not always this obvious. Narcissists are masters at making their manipulations seem "normal" or "just for your own good." They’ll convince you that they’re just protecting you or that they care too much to see you waste time with "toxic" people. Over time, it’s easy to get trapped in this cycle, believing their version of reality.

How to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Control

Setting Boundaries is Key

So, what can you do if you’re in a situation where someone is trying to control your life? First off, setting boundaries is absolutely critical. Narcissists will push and test your limits constantly. You need to be clear about what you’re willing to tolerate and what you won’t. And, yeah, it's not always easy. I remember my friend trying to stand up to her narcissistic partner, and it felt like the world was falling apart. But the truth is, without those boundaries, you’ll keep losing pieces of yourself.

Seek Support from Others

I get that it’s hard to take a step back when you're emotionally invested. But trust me, the best thing you can do is talk to people you trust. I can’t tell you how many times my friend got advice from people who could see things clearly, when she was too caught up in the chaos of the relationship. Having an outsider's perspective makes a huge difference.

Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

It sounds easier said than done, but sometimes, walking away is the healthiest thing you can do. Narcissists can wear you down until you're too tired to fight back. And once that happens, they’ve won. I know, it’s tough – no one wants to end a relationship, especially when you’ve invested so much in it. But in the long run, preserving your mental health and happiness is worth it.

Final Thoughts: Narcissism and the Illusion of Control

Honestly, when it comes to narcissists and control, the most important thing to remember is that their need to control isn’t about love or care – it’s about power. They thrive on manipulating you, making you question yourself, and isolating you from the world. It’s a cycle that’s tough to break, but not impossible. With the right boundaries, support, and self-awareness, you can take back control of your own life. And remember, you deserve to live freely, without someone else trying to dictate your every move.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.