How Do You Explain BPD to Someone Who Doesn't Have It?

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

Well, before diving into how to explain BPD, let’s first understand what it really is. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. People with BPD often have intense emotions and difficulty managing them, which can lead to unstable relationships and a skewed self-image. Honestly, if you’ve ever felt like your emotions are a rollercoaster that you can't control, that’s kind of the essence of what it’s like.

Now, for someone who doesn’t have BPD, this might sound a bit confusing. It’s easy to assume that people with BPD are just “overreacting” or “too sensitive,” but it’s not as simple as that. I’ve had several conversations with friends about it, and at first, they didn’t really get it. They couldn’t understand why something as small as a comment or a change in plans could cause such a big emotional reaction. It’s tough to explain, but I’ll do my best here.

Explaining the Emotional Rollercoaster

Intense Emotions that Feel Overwhelming

Imagine feeling emotions so deeply that it’s almost like a tidal wave that crashes over you. For someone without BPD, emotions might ebb and flow, but for people with BPD, emotions can feel all-consuming. Think about when you’re angry, but multiply it by 10. Or when you’re happy, but it’s like you’re floating. The intensity of emotions can change quickly, and you might feel out of control of them.

I’ve had moments where I’d be completely fine one minute, and the next, something minor triggers me, and I feel overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or anxiety. Explaining this to someone who doesn’t have BPD is tricky, especially because it can seem unpredictable or disproportionate. But here’s the thing: those emotions are real and not something we can just "snap out of."

Fear of Abandonment

Another key part of BPD is the intense fear of abandonment. This can make relationships really hard, because there’s always a sense of anxiety that people are going to leave. It could be a simple text message that goes unanswered for a few hours, or someone saying they need space. To someone with BPD, this can feel like a rejection, even when it isn’t.

Honestly, explaining this to a friend who doesn’t have BPD can be awkward. They might say something like, “Why do you overthink it?” But it’s not about overthinking. It’s about feeling like the emotional foundation beneath you is constantly shaky. When I’ve tried to explain this to friends, they’ve told me, “I don’t get why you’d take it that way,” but it’s not about logic – it’s about the emotional experience, which doesn’t always match up with reality.

The Challenges in Relationships

Push and Pull: Love and Hate at the Same Time

I think the hardest part of BPD, at least for me, is the "push and pull" dynamic in relationships. This means that while I might feel intensely attached to someone, I might also fear that they’ll hurt me or leave. This fear sometimes causes me to push them away before they have a chance to leave. The paradox is that the person I care about most is often the one I push away the hardest.

In a conversation with a friend about this, they were surprised. They said, “But if you love them, why would you push them away?” And it’s a good question, one that even I struggle to answer. The answer, though, lies in the overwhelming emotions that drive that behavior. When you have BPD, it’s like your feelings are so extreme that they can override your rational thoughts. It’s exhausting for both sides, but it’s something that people with BPD have to work on constantly.

Unstable Self-Image

One of the toughest things to explain is the constant struggle with self-identity. For someone with BPD, the way we see ourselves can change rapidly, depending on our emotions or how we’re feeling at that moment. You might feel confident one day, and the next, you might feel like you're not worth anything. It's like walking on a tightrope, not knowing which way you'll lean next.

I remember telling a friend once, “I don’t even know who I am today.” They didn’t really understand why it could be so difficult to find stability within yourself. But it’s not about being confused; it’s about feeling deeply insecure about everything, including your own worth. Explaining that emotional flux is difficult, but that’s what living with BPD often feels like—like you’re constantly questioning yourself.

How Can You Help Someone with BPD?

Be Patient and Understanding

If you’re trying to support someone with BPD, the first thing I’d say is: be patient. I know it’s frustrating for others when they don’t understand what’s happening. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of how to react. But what people with BPD need most is understanding, not judgment. I’ve had moments where my emotions have spiraled out of control, but a kind word or someone simply listening can make a world of difference.

Encourage Professional Help

Another important aspect is therapy. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is often recommended for people with BPD, and it helps to learn skills for managing intense emotions and improving relationships. For me, therapy has been a life-changer, but not everyone is on board with the idea at first. So, if you’re trying to explain BPD to someone who doesn’t have it, encourage them to look into professional resources. It’s an investment in well-being, and it helps both the person with BPD and those around them.

Conclusion: Empathy Goes a Long Way

Honestly, explaining BPD to someone who doesn’t have it can be a huge challenge, especially when emotions seem so intense and unpredictable. But empathy and patience go a long way. The more we talk about it openly, the better people will understand. BPD doesn’t define who someone is—it’s just one aspect of a much larger, complex person. So, if you’re trying to explain it to someone, just remember: they might not understand fully, but they can still be supportive.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.