Do People with BPD Fall in Love Easier? The Truth Behind It

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

Okay, let’s start with the basics. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects the way people think, feel, and interact with others. If you or someone you know has BPD, you might recognize intense emotional reactions, unstable relationships, and a fear of abandonment. Now, one question that often pops up is: do people with BPD fall in love easier than others?

Well, here’s the thing: BPD does influence emotional connections. But does it make someone "fall in love" more quickly? Let’s dive into it.

Intense Emotional Responses: Falling in Love Fast

One of the most noticeable traits of people with BPD is the intensity of their emotions. Seriously, it’s like feeling everything in hyper-speed. And this can translate into relationships. Someone with BPD might feel an overwhelming rush of affection early on, which can make it seem like they fall in love faster than others.

I remember talking to my friend Claire, who has BPD, and she told me about a relationship where she felt "this instant connection" with someone she had just met. For her, it was all-consuming—like a switch flipped, and she was in love. Honestly, it’s not uncommon for people with BPD to experience such rapid emotional shifts.

But here’s the thing—these intense feelings can sometimes be more about the need for emotional validation than actual romantic love. It’s complicated, and it’s not always clear-cut.

Fear of Abandonment: The Desire for Love

Another huge factor is the fear of abandonment. People with BPD often have this constant fear that their loved ones will leave them, which can cause them to rush into relationships or fall in love more quickly. It’s not because they’re desperate, but more because they crave the stability that love can provide.

I can tell you from experience, talking with someone who has BPD about their relationships, that the idea of someone leaving them can feel like a devastating blow. They want to avoid that pain, and falling in love can seem like a way to ensure they don’t get left behind. That fear of abandonment can make the idea of "falling in love" feel like a desperate need for security, not just a natural connection.

The Idealization Phase: Love at First Sight?

People with BPD can be prone to something called "idealization" in relationships. This means they might view someone as perfect at first, almost as if they're in love at first sight. It’s like everything is wonderful, and the person they’ve just met is the best thing to ever happen to them. But this idealization can quickly turn into "devaluation" once they see flaws in the other person, which can cause emotional rollercoasters.

Honestly, I’ve seen this happen with my friend Ben, who has BPD. In his past relationships, he would get so excited in the beginning—everything was perfect. But as soon as the other person showed any signs of imperfection, it was like the entire relationship came crashing down. That rapid shift can be exhausting for both sides, and it’s one of the reasons why relationships with someone who has BPD can be so intense.

Can Someone with BPD Have Healthy Relationships?

It’s possible, but it takes work. People with BPD can absolutely have healthy, loving relationships, but it’s important to understand the challenges they face. The emotional instability, the fear of abandonment, and the tendency to idealize or devalue people can make things tough.

From what I’ve learned and experienced talking to people with BPD, the key is emotional regulation and therapy. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), for instance, has been a game-changer for a lot of people with BPD. It teaches skills for managing intense emotions and building healthier relationships. So yes, falling in love quickly might happen, but it doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. With support and self-awareness, people with BPD can develop lasting and meaningful connections.

The Bottom Line: It’s Not About Falling in Love Faster

So, do people with BPD fall in love easier? Well, it’s not as simple as it might seem. Yes, they might experience intense emotions and feel deeply connected to someone early on, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they fall in love faster in a healthy, sustainable way. It’s more about the intensity and the desire for emotional connection, mixed with the fear of abandonment and idealization.

What’s important is understanding that people with BPD need the right kind of support. Relationships can be complicated, but with the right therapy and emotional tools, they can also be incredibly fulfilling. If you’re in a relationship with someone with BPD, just remember that patience, communication, and empathy are key. And if you’re someone with BPD, don’t be afraid to seek out help and support—you deserve it.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.