What Does a Manipulator Want From You?

Understanding Manipulation: The Hidden Motives

Have you ever felt like someone was constantly trying to pull your strings, making you feel guilty, unsure, or dependent on them? That’s manipulation at play. You might wonder: What does a manipulator really want from you? The truth is, manipulative behavior can have a wide array of motives, and the person behind it often has a hidden agenda.

Manipulation isn’t always easy to spot. It can be subtle, sometimes disguised as concern, kindness, or even love. But underneath it all, manipulators are usually after something. And no, it’s not always something obvious like money or power. Sometimes, it’s about control, validation, or simply feeding their own needs. Let’s break down what a manipulator really wants from you.

1. Control Over Your Actions and Decisions

Why Control is Key for a Manipulator

Well, let’s be honest: control is a powerful tool in the hands of someone who manipulates. A manipulator wants to control your actions, your thoughts, and even your emotions. They’ll use guilt trips, gaslighting, or even charm to make you second-guess yourself and eventually give in to their demands.

I’ve been in situations where someone close to me used guilt to manipulate me. It started small—"I guess I’m just asking for a little help"—and before I knew it, I was prioritizing their needs over my own. The constant undermining of my autonomy was draining.

How They Get What They Want

By making you feel insecure, they keep you on edge, unsure of your own thoughts. This insecurity makes you easier to control. And over time, without even realizing it, your decisions might be heavily influenced, if not entirely dictated, by them.

2. Emotional Validation and Attention

Seeking Constant Reassurance

Manipulators, whether consciously or not, thrive on emotional validation. They need you to constantly reassure them, feed their ego, and show them that they are important. This can take the form of emotional outbursts, compliments, or guilt to get the reaction they desire.

I once had a friend who would often drop comments like, “I don’t know if anyone cares about me,” just to get me to say, "Of course, I care about you!" It was draining because the moment I gave that validation, it seemed like they needed even more. It became a cycle of giving without receiving.

How They Make You Feel Responsible

You might find yourself constantly giving emotional support, thinking that you’re being a good friend or partner. But manipulators are often never satisfied with just one reassuring word. They want a constant flow of attention, validation, and empathy. If you ever fall short, expect them to use emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty for it.

3. Your Re Time, Energy, and Money

How Manipulators Take Advantage

A manipulator might want more than just your attention—they might want your time, energy, and yes, even your money. Whether it’s borrowing money without intending to pay it back or demanding your time when you have other obligations, they see your resources as a means to an end. They don't see your time as valuable—only theirs.

I remember being in a toxic work environment where a coworker would constantly ask me to help with their tasks. At first, I was eager to assist, but over time, I realized they were taking advantage of my time, leaving me with nothing in return. My energy was drained, and I was left feeling exhausted and unappreciated.

The Guilt Trap

One of the most common tactics a manipulator uses is making you feel guilty for not giving enough. "But I thought we were friends" or "You’ve always been there for me, why not now?" These phrases are designed to make you feel like you owe them your resources.

4. To Keep You in Their Power Dynamics

Why They Want to Keep You Close

A manipulator might not just want to control your actions—they want to keep you in a cycle where you feel dependent on them. By using various tactics like guilt, praise, or intimidation, they ensure that you rely on them emotionally, even if you don’t realize it at first.

Actually, I’ve seen this happen in romantic relationships too. It’s like they put a leash on you, gradually making you believe that you can't make decisions on your own or live without them. It’s a slippery slope, and before you know it, your life revolves around meeting their needs.

5. What Can You Do to Protect Yourself?

Recognize Manipulation Early

The first step in avoiding manipulation is recognizing it early. Trust your instincts. If you feel like someone is trying to control you, or you’re constantly doubting your own thoughts, it’s time to step back. Take note of the patterns—constant guilt, emotional highs and lows, and unreasonable demands are red flags.

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

One of the best ways to protect yourself from manipulation is to set clear boundaries. Don’t be afraid to say no, even if the other person tries to guilt you into giving in. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, not manipulation.

Honestly, it can be tough at first. It takes practice to stand firm, especially when you care about the person trying to manipulate you. But remember, setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you someone who values their own well-being.

Conclusion: Understanding Manipulation to Keep Your Power

So, what does a manipulator want from you? It’s simple—control, validation, resources, and ultimately, to keep you within their grasp. The key to dealing with manipulators is awareness. Recognize the signs, protect your boundaries, and don’t let anyone take away your sense of self.

Honestly, I've learned this lesson the hard way. But now, I can spot manipulation from a mile away, and that’s a huge power in itself. Stay aware, trust yourself, and don’t let anyone take more than what’s rightfully yours.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.