Why Does a Crush Never Go Away? Understanding the Mystery

Crushing on someone can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, but what happens when that crush just never goes away? You’ve probably asked yourself this question more than once, especially when that intense feeling seems to linger long after it’s "supposed" to fade. I’ve definitely been there, and honestly, it’s frustrating. But, the more I’ve looked into it, the more I’ve realized that there’s a lot going on under the surface when it comes to why a crush never really disappears.

The Science Behind a Long-Lasting Crush

Well, the first thing to understand is that there’s a lot of science behind why we develop crushes in the first place—and why they can last for so long. It’s not just about attraction; it’s about chemistry, brain chemistry to be exact.

Dopamine: The “Love Drug”

Honestly, when you develop a crush, it’s like your brain goes into overdrive, releasing dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone. Dopamine plays a huge role in those butterflies you feel, the obsession that follows, and the way your brain seems to replay interactions with that person over and over. This intense dopamine rush can make you feel like your crush is never going to go away because your brain literally wants that feeling to stick around. And trust me, it can be really hard to turn that off.

The Role of Obsessive Thoughts

I remember once, I couldn’t get a certain person out of my head—literally. It wasn’t just a "fleeting thought," but an obsessive pattern that seemed to resurface at random moments. Well, that’s because our brains are wired to think about things that give us pleasure. This is why a crush can stick around. The brain keeps wanting that rush of dopamine, and the more you think about them, the stronger the desire gets.

Emotional Attachments: Why Feelings Stick

Okay, so it’s not all science. There’s also the emotional side of things. Crushes often tap into our deeper feelings of desire, longing, and even insecurity. When these emotions are involved, it can make it harder for your crush to fade, even if you think you’ve gotten over it.

The Fantasy of "What Could Be"

Honestly, part of the problem is that crushes are often based on a fantasy. You start imagining how things could be if you were together—how perfect life would be if they liked you back. The what-ifs play on repeat in your mind, and this dream becomes so ingrained that it feels like it would be too much to let go. It’s not even necessarily about the person, but about the fantasy of a relationship with them. And that can hold on forever.

The Attachment Style You Have

Believe it or not, your attachment style plays a big role in how long a crush can last. This isn’t something we usually think about, but it’s something that has a huge impact on our emotional patterns.

Secure vs. Insecure Attachment

I had this conversation with a friend the other day, and she mentioned how she always had this lingering attachment to past crushes, even when they didn’t work out. We got talking about attachment styles, and I started to see the connection. If you have an insecure attachment style, you might find it harder to let go of someone you’re attracted to. You might idealize them or have a hard time separating your emotions from reality. On the other hand, if you have a secure attachment style, you’re more likely to let go once you realize the relationship isn’t going anywhere.

Emotional Reassurance and Dependency

I’ve realized that some people (myself included sometimes) end up staying attached to a crush because of emotional dependency. This might come from feeling lonely or not getting enough emotional reassurance elsewhere. When a crush offers that "little spark," your brain holds onto it like a lifeline, and that can be why it feels so hard to let go.

Is It Healthy to Hold Onto a Crush for So Long?

Okay, this is where it gets a little tricky. Is it healthy to hold onto a crush for months or even years? The short answer: it depends.

The Positive Side of a Crush

Well, having a crush isn’t inherently bad—it’s a natural part of life and can even be a sign of emotional growth or attraction to someone who embodies traits you admire. It can even boost your self-esteem in some ways, making you feel desirable or reminding you that you’re capable of forming meaningful connections. I had a long-lasting crush on someone when I was in college, and it really helped me reflect on my own wants and needs in a relationship.

The Negative Side: Avoiding Reality

However, if your crush starts affecting your day-to-day life—like interfering with your ability to focus, blocking you from moving forward in other relationships, or leaving you constantly in an emotional limbo—that’s a red flag. I had a phase like this once where I let my feelings for someone block me from opening myself up to other people. It wasn’t until I realized it was holding me back that I was able to move on.

How to Let Go of a Crush That Won’t Leave

So, if you’re tired of your crush sticking around longer than it should, it might be time to take action. Letting go of a crush can be tough, but it’s definitely possible with some effort.

Accepting Reality

Honestly, the hardest part is facing the truth: that your crush may never turn into something real. Once you accept that, you’ll start to free yourself emotionally. I know it’s not easy to let go of the fantasy, but once you come to terms with it, things will start to feel lighter.

Shift Your Focus Elsewhere

Another tip? Start redirecting your attention to other things that bring you joy. Focus on hobbies, friendships, or self-improvement. I found that the more I focused on other parts of my life, the less space my crush had in my head. It’s not that you’re ignoring the feeling, but you’re putting it in perspective.

Conclusion: Embrace the Process

So, why does a crush never go away? Because of the chemistry, the emotional attachments, and sometimes even the fantasies we build in our minds. But don’t worry, it’s normal, and the more you understand how crushes work, the easier it becomes to manage them. Crushes can be a wonderful part of life, but it’s important to know when it’s time to move on.

Honestly, take it one step at a time, and be kind to yourself. If the crush is still there, you’ll get through it. If it’s time to let go, you’ll find new and exciting opportunities ahead.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.