What is Black and White Thinking in Psychology: Understanding its Impact on Mental Health?

What is Black and White Thinking in Psychology? Understanding the Impact

What is Black and White Thinking?

Black and white thinking, also known as all-or-nothing thinking, is a cognitive distortion where a person perceives situations, events, or people as entirely good or entirely bad, with no shades of gray in between. This type of thinking is often linked to psychological conditions such as anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder. It’s a way of simplifying the world, but it can limit understanding and lead to poor decision-making.

I remember having a conversation with my friend Sarah recently about how she often sees herself as either "completely successful" or "a total failure" when it comes to her career. It struck me how often we fall into this trap without even realizing it. She described it as feeling like there’s no middle ground. "Either I get a promotion, or I’m not good enough," she said. That’s black and white thinking in action—simplifying a complex issue into two extremes.

Why Do People Engage in Black and White Thinking?

Emotional Reactivity and Cognitive Bias

One reason people engage in black and white thinking is emotional reactivity. When we feel extreme emotions, it's easier to think in extremes as well. For example, when you're upset or anxious, you might categorize things as either “good” or “bad” to protect yourself from the uncertainty and confusion of the world. It feels safer, even if it's not accurate.

I noticed this in myself during a stressful period in my life. I felt like my relationships were either perfect or totally broken—there was no middle ground. When I started to explore this with a therapist, I realized it was linked to my emotional reactivity. It was easier for me to label people or situations in absolute terms than to face the complicated, messy reality of things.

Cultural and Environmental Influences

Sometimes, black and white thinking is reinforced by cultural or societal messages. Media, social norms, or even family expectations can encourage a binary view of success and failure, right and wrong, or good and bad. These influences can make it difficult to see the nuances of a situation. For instance, think about how the media portrays success—it's often either about being "on top" or being a "complete failure," leaving little room for the grey areas where most real-life experiences exist.

The Need for Control and Certainty

Humans have a natural desire for control and certainty, especially in an unpredictable world. Black and white thinking offers an easy way to simplify complexity. It gives the illusion of control, as you don’t have to deal with uncertainty or ambiguity. It feels safer to assume that something is "all good" or "all bad," rather than grappling with the uncomfortable grey areas.

The Effects of Black and White Thinking on Mental Health

Relationship Struggles

In personal relationships, black and white thinking can create misunderstandings and conflicts. If you view your partner as either perfect or awful, it can be hard to appreciate their complexities or resolve conflicts effectively. This kind of thinking might lead to unnecessary breakups or feelings of disconnection.

I’ve seen this in my own life, especially with close friends. One time, I had an argument with a friend, and for a brief moment, I thought, “If they’re not supporting me, then they’re not my friend anymore.” That was the black-and-white thinking clouding my judgment. Thankfully, I caught myself before I let it ruin the relationship. But it’s easy to fall into, especially when emotions are high.

Increased Anxiety and Depression

Black and white thinking is often associated with increased anxiety and depression. When you only see situations as either "completely fine" or "completely catastrophic," it can lead to chronic stress and a sense of helplessness. This can be especially problematic when it comes to self-worth or how you view your own failures. If you’re constantly labeling yourself as a “failure” when you don’t meet certain expectations, it can be a vicious cycle of negativity.

I recently spoke with my cousin Mike, who has struggled with anxiety for years. He told me that his black-and-white thinking made it hard for him to take risks because he was terrified of failing. If he wasn’t perfect at something right away, he’d feel like a complete failure, leading him to avoid trying altogether. It broke my heart because I know he has so much potential, but his mindset was keeping him stuck.

How to Overcome Black and White Thinking

Embrace the Gray Area

One of the first steps in overcoming black and white thinking is to acknowledge the gray areas. Life is rarely just one extreme or the other. If you can practice looking for the nuances in any given situation, it can help you break out of that binary mindset. For instance, instead of thinking “I’m either a success or a failure,” you could think, “I may have done well in some areas, but I also have room to improve.”

This shift can be difficult at first, but it’s worth it. In my own journey, I’ve found that practicing self-compassion and looking for balance has made a huge difference in how I view myself and my life.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

A very effective way to combat black and white thinking is through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapy helps you identify distorted thought patterns and replace them with more realistic and balanced perspectives. It involves examining your thoughts and questioning whether they’re based on facts or emotions.

When I started working with a therapist using CBT, I was surprised at how much my thinking had become rigid over the years. For example, I used to believe that if I wasn’t performing at my absolute best in everything, I was failing. CBT helped me reframe these thoughts and recognize the importance of gradual improvement and learning.

Practice Mindfulness

Another powerful tool is mindfulness, which involves staying present and accepting things as they are, rather than rushing to judgment. Mindfulness can help you recognize when you’re slipping into all-or-nothing thinking and bring you back to a more balanced state of mind.

I started practicing mindfulness during stressful situations, and it’s honestly been a game-changer. Instead of panicking about a mistake, I’ve learned to acknowledge it, reflect on it, and take it as an opportunity to grow. It’s about being gentle with yourself and understanding that mistakes are part of the process.

Conclusion: Breaking Free from Black and White Thinking

In conclusion, black and white thinking can be a powerful mental habit that limits your ability to see the full spectrum of possibilities in life. It’s often rooted in emotional reactivity, societal pressures, and a desire for certainty. However, with awareness, CBT, and mindfulness, you can break free from this cognitive distortion and start embracing a more balanced, realistic approach to life.

Remember, life is full of shades of gray, and learning to see them is key to reducing stress, improving relationships, and achieving personal growth. If you’ve found yourself caught in the trap of black and white thinking, take a step back and give yourself permission to embrace the gray.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.