Are Gaslighters Intelligent or Just Emotionally Manipulative?

Well, here's a topic that seriously gets under my skin. Are gaslighters actually intelligent, or are they just emotionally manipulative people who luck out with vulnerable victims? Honestly, I've debated this for years (usually after long conversations with my friend Sarah who’s convinced her ex was some kind of evil genius). Let’s break it down.

Understanding Gaslighting: Intelligence vs. Manipulation

First off, let’s clarify what gaslighting really is. It's when someone makes you doubt your own reality. They twist facts, deny truths (even ones you’ve witnessed yourself!), and make you feel you're losing your mind. Charming, right?

But does it mean they're super intelligent? Well, not always. Actually, gaslighting requires more emotional intelligence (EQ) than pure IQ. Manipulators understand people deeply—they sense insecurities, weaknesses, and fears like bloodhounds. It’s creepy how intuitive they can be.

Emotional Intelligence: Their Secret Weapon?

Gaslighters have a knack for spotting vulnerabilities. They use empathy—but in a twisted way. My buddy Tom, who (unfortunately) mastered this "art," once admitted after a few beers that manipulating someone wasn't about brains—it was about reading emotions like a book. That creeped me out, not gonna lie.

Personal Anecdote: My Brush with a "Clever" Gaslighter

Honestly, I once dated a guy, Alex, who I swear had a Ph.D. in gaslighting. He could argue black was white and somehow convince me I was colorblind. At first, I admired how quick he was with his arguments—so articulate, so logical. But here’s the kicker: looking back, it wasn’t intelligence. It was confidence, charisma, and this weird ability to twist logic until I questioned myself.

So was he intelligent? Maybe somewhat. But emotionally manipulative? Definitely.

Can Gaslighters Be Highly Intelligent?

To be fair, some gaslighters are actually intelligent in traditional ways. They hold impressive jobs, have prestigious degrees, or excel academically. This can make their manipulation even more potent, unfortunately. When someone intelligent insists you're mistaken, it's hard not to believe them.

But intelligence alone doesn't make someone a gaslighter. It's more complicated than that.

Intelligence vs. Narcissism: What's Really at Play?

Often, gaslighting links closely to narcissism. Narcissists have inflated self-worth, crave admiration, and will do anything to maintain control. I used to think narcissists were super smart, calculating every move like chess grandmasters. But lately, I'm leaning towards thinking they're just impulsive manipulators, driven more by ego than intellect.

Is Narcissism Mistaken for Intelligence?

Honestly, yes. Narcissists project such overwhelming confidence that we mistake their self-assurance for genuine intelligence. My friend Sarah (yes, her again) pointed this out recently after watching a Netflix documentary. It hit me that narcissists—and gaslighters by extension—just look smarter because they're so convincing.

How to Protect Yourself: Smart or Not, Gaslighting is Dangerous

The bottom line is this: intelligence doesn't excuse gaslighting behavior. Whether they’re masterminds or just emotionally cunning, the damage they cause is real. Protect yourself by trusting your gut, keeping records of interactions (texts, emails, voicemails—seriously, it helps), and confiding in trusted friends.

Honestly, it took me too long to learn this lesson, but you don't have to make the same mistake.

Stay aware, trust yourself, and remember: gaslighters thrive when you doubt your own mind. Intelligent or not, don’t give them that power.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.