What Are Children of Narcissists Like?

Growing up with a narcissistic parent is like living in a house of mirrors—you’re constantly being reflected in ways that distort your reality. One day, you’re the golden child, the pride of the family; the next, you’re the scapegoat, the source of all their disappointment. It’s an exhausting, unpredictable rollercoaster that shapes you in ways you don’t even realize until years later.

So what are the children of narcissists like? Well, the answer isn’t simple. Some become high achievers, desperate for validation. Others shrink into themselves, terrified of conflict. Many struggle with boundaries, self-worth, and relationships. But all of them carry, in some way, the echoes of a childhood where love often felt like a transaction.

1. They Struggle with Self-Worth

When you grow up with a parent who only values you when you’re making them look good, it’s hard to develop a stable sense of self-worth.

• Maybe you were praised for your achievements, but the moment you failed, the love disappeared.
• Maybe you were constantly criticized, made to feel like nothing you did was ever enough.
• Or maybe you were ignored until your parent needed someone to vent to—or worse, someone to blame.

No matter how it played out, the message was clear: Your value depends on what you do, not who you are.

As adults, many children of narcissists become perfectionists, terrified of failure because deep down, they believe that failure makes them unlovable. Others go in the opposite direction, struggling with motivation because they were never allowed to believe in themselves. Either way, the voice of that narcissistic parent—whether harsh or subtly dismissive—lives rent-free in their head.

2. They Have Complicated Relationships

Relationships are tough when your earliest experience of love was conditional. Many children of narcissists:

• Struggle with boundaries—either they don’t know how to set them, or they set them too rigidly to protect themselves.
• Are drawn to toxic dynamics, often ending up with partners or friends who are emotionally unavailable or manipulative.
• Have a deep fear of abandonment, making them either overly clingy or completely avoidant.

It’s not uncommon for them to replay the patterns they grew up with—seeking approval, tolerating emotional neglect, or constantly second-guessing themselves. Healthy, stable relationships can feel foreign, even boring, because chaos was their norm.

3. They Either Fear or Crave Attention

Some children of narcissists become hyper-visible, always performing, always seeking approval, because they were raised to believe that attention equals love. They might become people-pleasers, workaholics, or overachievers, constantly chasing the validation they never got at home.

Others go the opposite route: they shrink themselves, avoiding the spotlight, fearing criticism, never speaking up. When your childhood was filled with moments where expressing your needs led to rejection or ridicule, staying small feels safer.

4. They Have an Inner Critic That Never Shuts Up

A narcissistic parent doesn’t need to be cruel all the time. Sometimes, they’re just dismissive—always making their child feel like they’re too much or not enough. Over time, that external criticism becomes an internal voice, a relentless whisper that says:

• "You’re being dramatic."
• "No one cares about your feelings."
• "You’re not trying hard enough."

That voice doesn’t just disappear in adulthood. It shows up in the workplace, in relationships, in moments of self-doubt. And even when children of narcissists recognize it, silencing it is a lifelong battle.

5. They Are Incredibly Resilient

Here’s the thing: children of narcissists learn how to survive early. They become intuitive, able to read a room in seconds. They know how to adapt, how to manage other people’s emotions, how to keep the peace.

This resilience can be both a gift and a curse. On one hand, it makes them deeply empathetic, strong, and resourceful. On the other hand, it can lead them to put others' needs above their own, mistaking emotional labor for love.

The real challenge? Learning that survival isn’t the same as living.

Breaking the Cycle

If any of this sounds painfully familiar, you’re not alone. Recognizing the impact of a narcissistic parent is the first step toward healing. Therapy, self-reflection, and surrounding yourself with genuinely supportive people can help rewrite the script.

Because at the end of the day, you are not defined by where you came from. You are not your parent's reflection. You are your own person—worthy of love, respect, and a life that isn’t dictated by someone else’s expectations.

And that? That’s something no narcissist can take away.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.