What is the Biggest Turn Off for INFJ? Discover What Really Irks Them

Understanding INFJ Personality

Well, if you’ve ever wondered what makes an INFJ tick, you're in for an interesting ride. INFJs are often seen as the rarest personality type in the Myers-Briggs system, making up only about 1-2% of the population. They’re known for being deep thinkers, empathetic, and often a little mysterious. But despite all of their strengths, they also have certain "turn-offs" that can instantly make them lose interest. Let’s dive into what the biggest turn-off for an INFJ really is.

The Core Traits of an INFJ

INFJs are driven by their values and a deep desire to connect with others on a meaningful level. They’re typically introspective, highly intuitive, and extremely empathetic. This emotional depth makes them great listeners and incredibly supportive friends or partners. But here's the catch: this very sensitivity and idealism also make them vulnerable to certain behaviors that can be deal-breakers for them.

I remember chatting with a close friend who’s an INFJ (let’s call her Sarah), and she said something that stuck with me: "If someone doesn’t care about deeper conversations, it’s just a no-go for me." This got me thinking about how crucial meaningful connections are for them.

Biggest Turn Off for INFJs: Lack of Authenticity

Pretending to Be Someone You're Not

Honestly, if you want to turn off an INFJ, just start pretending. INFJs can instantly sense when someone is being disingenuous or putting on a façade. They value authenticity above all, and they thrive in environments where people are open and real. A lack of genuine behavior or when someone tries too hard to impress them is a huge red flag.

I can recall an incident when an INFJ friend of mine (let’s call him Alex) met someone for a date. The person was overly flattering and appeared perfect on paper, but it didn’t take long for Alex to realize that something was off. He said, “It was like a performance, and I just couldn’t keep up with the act.” They ended up cutting the conversation short. So yeah, trying too hard to fit a mold will probably send them running for the hills.

Superficiality: A Deal Breaker

INFJs value depth in all aspects of life, so superficiality can be a big turn-off. When people are overly concerned with appearances, shallow small talk, or just aren’t interested in discussing deeper topics, INFJs feel disconnected. They tend to shy away from relationships or situations where they don't feel emotionally engaged.

I experienced this firsthand when I was out with a group of people, and one of them kept talking about material things like brands, cars, and surface-level accomplishments. It was draining, and I could see how an INFJ would feel suffocated by this constant need to discuss the surface-level stuff.

Overly Aggressive or Controlling Behavior

INFJs Value Respect and Independence

Another significant turn-off for INFJs is aggressive or controlling behavior. Because of their empathetic nature, they prefer relationships and friendships where mutual respect and autonomy are valued. If someone tries to control or dominate them, it feels like a huge violation of their personal space and boundaries.

I remember Sarah telling me about an ex-partner who was constantly trying to impose their ideas on her. She said, “I felt like I was losing myself in that relationship.” INFJs are incredibly independent and need space to grow, both personally and emotionally. Trying to box them in will only push them further away.

Intense Manipulation

INFJs are naturally kind-hearted and empathetic, which unfortunately makes them susceptible to being manipulated. People who use guilt-trips, play mind games, or have ulterior motives can quickly lose an INFJ’s trust. They see right through these tactics and will walk away rather than engage in unhealthy dynamics.

Honestly, I’ve seen it happen with my friend Alex, who once had a colleague who would constantly guilt-trip him into taking on extra work. He tried to reason with them, but once he realized the manipulation, he completely distanced himself. INFJs don’t tolerate this kind of emotional manipulation.

Emotional Neglect or Disrespect

Ignoring Their Feelings

INFJs deeply value emotional connections and want to feel heard, understood, and respected. If someone ignores their emotions or dismisses their feelings, that’s a major turn-off. INFJs thrive in environments where they feel safe to express themselves and be vulnerable.

I had a conversation with a friend who’s an INFJ, and she explained how hurt she was when someone she cared about brushed off her concerns. “It felt like my feelings didn’t matter, and I just couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine,” she said. INFJs want to be with people who truly listen and empathize with them.

Lack of Support

Another big issue is when people fail to offer support, especially in tough times. INFJs are natural caregivers and often provide unwavering support to those they love. However, when the tables are turned, and they don't receive that same care in return, it feels like betrayal. They need partners, friends, or family who are as invested in the relationship as they are.

Conclusion: Being True to Yourself Around an INFJ

So, what is the biggest turn-off for an INFJ? Well, in a nutshell, it’s anything that feels fake, superficial, or manipulative. They crave authenticity, respect, and meaningful connections. If you want to keep an INFJ in your life, be real, support them emotionally, and never try to manipulate or control them. They’re incredibly intuitive and will see right through any façade, so the best way to connect with them is to simply be yourself.

Honestly, if you’re considering a relationship with an INFJ, don’t try to be someone you’re not. They appreciate vulnerability and honesty more than anything. So, be real, show genuine interest, and you might just find a deep, lasting connection.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

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Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

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Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

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Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.