How do you heal yourself from childhood abandonment issues?

Healing Childhood Abandonment Issues: Steps to Reclaim Your Worth

Understanding Childhood Abandonment

Let’s not sugarcoat it—being abandoned (emotionally or physically) as a child messes with your core. It impacts how you trust, love, and even how you view yourself in the world. And yep, it often shows up uninvited in adult relationships. Before jumping into healing, you gotta first get real about what abandonment looked like for you.

Emotional vs. Physical Abandonment

Not all wounds are visible.

• Physical abandonment: One or both parents literally weren’t there (left, died, disappeared).

• Emotional abandonment: You had food and shelter, sure, but no warmth, no support, no “I’m here for you.” Oof.

Sometimes, it’s more subtle—like always being told to "toughen up" or never being comforted when you cried. It builds over time. And it stays, if you don’t address it.

Signs You’re Still Carrying That Wound

This part might sting a little (brace yourself):

• You’re scared people will leave, so you cling... or push them away.

• You're overly independent—like, pathologically.

• You keep repeating toxic relationship patterns.

• You feel like you're "too much" or "not enough" all at once.

Weird how stuff from way back then controls your now, right? But here’s the kicker—you can heal it.

Inner Child Work: Yes, It’s a Thing

Okay, this may sound woo-woo, but hear me out. Inner child work means connecting with the younger you who was hurt. Giving that version of yourself what they didn’t get.

How to Start Inner Child Healing

• Find a picture of yourself as a kid. (Seriously.) Talk to them—write them letters even.

• Acknowledge their pain. Let them know it wasn’t their fault.

• Visualize comforting them. Yes, actually picture hugging or protecting them.

At first it might feel awkward—like, am I talking to a ghost of myself? But over time, it soothes those raw nerves deep inside.

Therapy, Baby

Let’s be clear: you don’t have to do this alone. A therapist, especially one trained in attachment issues or trauma, can guide you through the mess.

Types of Therapy That Work Well

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Sounds sci-fi, but amazing for trauma.

• IFS (Internal Family Systems): Helps you talk to different "parts" of yourself (including the abandoned part).

• Schema Therapy: For deep, ingrained patterns. It doesn’t just deal with the surface.

Sometimes the hardest part is booking that first session. But man, it’s worth it.

Creating Secure Relationships Now

Here’s the good news: You’re not doomed. You can form secure, trusting bonds—even if your childhood was a wreck.

Tips to Build Healthy Connections

• Communicate honestly. Say when you're scared or unsure.

• Practice boundaries. Loving someone ≠ losing yourself.

• Stay consistent. Show up for yourself and others, even in small ways.

• Choose safe people. Not projects to fix, not chaos to manage.

You deserve safe love. Full stop.

Final Thought: It’s Messy, But It’s Possible

Okay, real talk. Healing from abandonment is not linear. Some days you'll feel like you’ve got it figured out. Others you’ll spiral into doubt and insecurity. That’s normal. The key is to keep going.

I used to think I was unlovable. Like deeply, chronically flawed. One night, I sat on the floor crying over a text left on “read.” That’s when it hit me—it wasn’t them, it was the little kid inside me begging not to be left again. That’s when the real healing started.

So be patient with yourself. Be gentle. And when in doubt, start by just telling that little you: “I’m not going anywhere.”

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.