What Are the Symptoms of Abandonment Trauma in Children?

What are the Symptoms of Abandonment Trauma in Children? Understanding the Impact

Recognizing Abandonment Trauma in Children
Honestly, when we think about trauma, we often picture physical harm or dramatic incidents. But abandonment trauma in children can be just as severe and long-lasting, even if the child isn’t physically hurt. As someone who has worked closely with children in various settings, I’ve seen the subtle and not-so-subtle ways abandonment can manifest, and it’s heartbreaking. Abandonment trauma in children can stem from various situations: neglect, divorce, death of a parent, or even the emotional absence of a caregiver. So, how do you recognize it?

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms of Abandonment Trauma
Well, the first signs of abandonment trauma often appear emotionally. A child might act out in unexpected ways, or withdraw completely. I remember working with a young girl once who seemed fine on the outside but struggled immensely with trust and attachment. At first, I couldn’t understand why she would push people away, but over time, it became clear that her behavior was rooted in deep emotional pain.

1. Extreme Attachment Issues
   Children who have experienced abandonment trauma often have difficulty forming healthy attachments. They might cling to adults excessively or, on the flip side, push people away entirely. This is because, deep down, they are terrified of being hurt again. In some cases, they may exhibit a "clinginess" that can seem extreme to outsiders, often calling attention to the deep need for security. I once saw a child refuse to let go of their caregiver for hours, fearing abandonment even in seemingly safe situations.

2. Fear of Abandonment
   This is a big one. Kids with abandonment trauma might constantly fear being abandoned again, even by people who are close to them. This fear can manifest in nightmares, anxiety, and disruptive behavior. Honestly, it’s frustrating for both the child and the caregivers because the child is stuck in this perpetual cycle of fear, despite the reassurances they may receive.

3. Difficulty Trusting Others
   Trust is such a fundamental part of healthy relationships, and kids who have experienced abandonment often struggle with it. They may have difficulty trusting that people will not leave them. I’ve seen kids act out in an attempt to test others, almost like a defense mechanism. They may push limits to see if someone will “abandon” them, which can be exhausting for parents and caregivers.

Physical Symptoms Linked to Emotional Trauma
It’s not just emotional symptoms that indicate abandonment trauma. In fact, the body often manifests signs of emotional distress, especially in children who may not know how to articulate their feelings. The connection between emotional and physical health is profound, and in children, it can be even more pronounced.

1. Sleep Disturbances
   Many children dealing with abandonment trauma experience sleep issues, whether it’s difficulty falling asleep, frequent nightmares, or waking up multiple times during the night. These sleep disturbances are often a direct result of anxiety or fear tied to abandonment. I’ve had parents report that their children woke up multiple times a night, often crying or visibly upset, and these sleep problems only worsened over time.

2. Somatic Complaints
   Sometimes, kids with trauma will experience frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical symptoms that can’t be explained medically. These complaints often stem from deep emotional pain that the child may not know how to express. It’s a common reaction when a child feels overwhelmed by emotions they can’t control. Honestly, I used to think some of these symptoms were just coincidental, but over time I’ve seen the pattern that links them to emotional trauma.

The Impact on School and Social Relationships
Actually, abandonment trauma doesn’t just affect a child’s home life – it can also have a huge impact on their school performance and relationships with peers. School can be a tough environment for a child dealing with abandonment, and they may struggle to focus, interact, or even attend.

1. Academic Challenges
   Children with abandonment trauma often have difficulty concentrating and focusing in school. Their anxiety or emotional distress can make learning feel impossible. I’ve had a few students who would consistently forget assignments or withdraw completely from class activities, and it wasn’t until I worked with them closely that I realized how much emotional pain was getting in the way of their academic success.

2. Difficulty in Social Interactions
   At school, children with abandonment trauma may have trouble forming friendships or understanding social cues. This could lead to isolation or behavioral issues, like bullying or being bullied. One child I worked with frequently pushed away potential friends, not because they were unkind, but because they simply couldn’t trust anyone not to abandon them eventually. It was heartbreaking to watch this cycle repeat, but with consistent support, they started to open up.

How Can You Help a Child Experiencing Abandonment Trauma?
Honestly, understanding the symptoms is the first step. But helping a child with abandonment trauma requires patience, consistency, and emotional support. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. If you suspect that a child in your care is experiencing abandonment trauma, here’s what you can do:

1. Provide Consistent Support and Reassurance
   Children need to know that they are not alone. Consistency is key in helping them feel secure. Let them know you’re there for them, and don’t let them push you away, even if they try. It’s tough, but showing that they can rely on you is one of the best ways to help them heal.

2. Encourage Healthy Emotional Expression
   Help the child express their feelings in a safe space. Encourage activities like drawing, writing, or simply talking about their emotions. I’ve found that giving children the tools to express themselves in non-verbal ways can be incredibly healing.

3. Seek Professional Help if Needed
   If you’re noticing persistent symptoms of trauma, it might be necessary to seek professional help. Therapists who specialize in childhood trauma can offer invaluable support in helping the child process their emotions in a healthy way.

Conclusion: Understanding and Healing from Abandonment Trauma
Well, abandonment trauma in children is real, and it can leave deep scars that are not always visible. Recognizing the signs and offering support can make a world of difference in helping the child heal. If you’re working with or caring for a child who’s been through abandonment, remember to be patient and understanding. Healing is possible, but it’s a journey that takes time and compassion. If you have any doubts, don’t hesitate to seek professional help – the child’s well-being is worth it.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.