What Happens When You Reject a Fearful Avoidant? The Emotional Fallout

The Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style: A Quick Overview

Alright, let's break this down. First things first, you need to understand what a fearful avoidant attachment style is. It’s a form of attachment where someone wants love and connection, but at the same time, they fear it. A real emotional rollercoaster, if you ask me. These people often have deep-rooted insecurities and may appear distant or emotionally unavailable even when they care deeply. It's a tricky thing to navigate, trust me.

I was talking about this with my friend Emma the other day. She was telling me how her ex, who had a fearful avoidant style, would act all distant and shut off whenever things got serious. At first, she thought it was just a phase, but soon enough, it started making her question everything.

But here’s the kicker—what happens when you reject someone who has this attachment style? Oh boy, that's where things get... complicated.

The Emotional Turmoil That Follows Rejection

Now, if you reject a fearful avoidant, prepare for the emotional fallout. It’s not pretty, to be honest. These individuals already struggle with deep fears of abandonment, and a rejection just sends them spiraling into their worst-case scenarios. They often feel like they aren’t worthy of love or that everyone will eventually leave them. And your rejection? Well, it just confirms their worst fears.

A Crushing Blow to Their Self-Esteem

Here’s the thing—rejection to someone with a fearful avoidant attachment style isn't just a "blow to the ego." It's a deep, crushing experience that can take weeks, months, or even longer to heal from. You may think you're just walking away from a relationship that isn’t working, but to them, it's like the confirmation of a lifetime of emotional trauma. It's a messy situation for both sides, really. Honestly, I think I learned this the hard way. I rejected someone with a fearful avoidant attachment a couple of years ago, and, wow, the aftermath was much worse than I anticipated.

The Unpredictable Response: Distancing or Lashing Out

So, let’s talk about how they might react after you reject them. It’s not simple. You might expect anger, sadness, or even the classic "ghosting" where they pull away entirely. But... what’s tricky is that they might not even know how to express their emotions properly. They often cope with fear and anxiety by distancing themselves, pushing people away before they get too close.

The Push-Pull Dynamic

And that’s where things get weird. You might notice this push-pull dynamic, where they come back into your life, maybe acting like nothing happened, only to retreat again when things start getting too close. It's maddening, right? But it’s their defense mechanism, built on fear, not on a lack of care. And this isn’t about you—it’s all about their inability to manage their inner emotional chaos.

Lashing Out: A Cry for Help

But it’s not always just avoidance. Sometimes, they might lash out, expressing frustration or even anger. This could be their way of coping with the deep hurt of rejection. They're stuck in this paradox: wanting connection but being terrified of it. So, if you reject them, they might act out emotionally, even though they might feel deeply devastated on the inside.

The Long-Term Effects: Healing or Further Rejection?

After you reject them, it’s likely that they’ll need time to heal, but healing won’t be linear. They’ll go through cycles of self-doubt, confusion, and even anger. Some may even bounce back quickly, especially if they’ve experienced rejection before, while others may spiral into emotional isolation for a while.

The Healing Process: A Slow Climb

You need to understand that if you rejected someone with a fearful avoidant attachment, it might take a long time for them to trust again. Their heart is in a constant tug-of-war between wanting connection and fearing it. I remember this one time, a close friend of mine (we’ll call him Alex) went through a similar situation. He ended up retreating into himself for a few weeks after a rejection. It was almost like he had to re-learn how to trust, even on a basic level. It wasn’t pretty, and honestly, he wasn’t even sure how to approach people after that.

But then again, not everyone heals the same way. Some may bounce back pretty quickly. Others, like Alex, need time and space before they’re ready to open up again.

Can You Help a Fearful Avoidant Heal?

Here’s where things get tricky. Can you help them heal? Well, it depends. The first thing I need to tell you is that you can’t fix someone else's attachment issues. But you can help by offering patience, understanding, and clear communication—if that’s what you want. But it’s crucial to be honest with them about your own boundaries and emotions.

Creating a Safe Space for Growth

If you're still in contact with someone who has a fearful avoidant attachment style after rejecting them, the best thing you can do is offer a safe space for them to feel heard and understood. But don't be surprised if they still struggle with vulnerability. It's a long process of breaking down walls that have been built over years.

Knowing When to Let Go

Ultimately, you have to know when to let go. If you’re trying to help them heal but it's too draining for you, it's okay to step back. Sometimes, it's not about fixing the person but accepting that they may need to heal on their own time.

Conclusion: The Emotional Rollercoaster of Rejection

Rejecting someone with a fearful avoidant attachment style can lead to a whirlwind of emotions—on both sides. While you might expect them to get over it quickly, the truth is, the rejection can reinforce their fears of abandonment, sending them into emotional turmoil. It’s a process that can take time, patience, and understanding. But remember, it’s not your responsibility to fix them.

So, if you find yourself in this situation, just know that it's messy. People with a fearful avoidant attachment style can’t easily "snap back" from rejection, and you might find yourself in a confusing emotional loop. But, hey, it’s all part of the human experience, right? Just approach it with care, and don’t forget to protect your own emotional space along the way.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.