Does First Love Always Hurt? The Truth No One Tells You
What makes first love feel so different?
Honestly? First love is intense. It’s messy, beautiful, awkward, and sometimes... absolutely brutal. I remember my first real relationship — I was 17, hopelessly naive, and thought we were going to get married. We texted all night, planned imaginary vacations, even picked baby names (I know, I know ).
But when it ended? It wrecked me. I couldn’t eat. I kept replaying old voice notes like they were part of some tragic movie. And I seriously asked myself: does first love always hurt this much? Or was I just being dramatic?
Turns out, a lot of people feel the same.
Why first love hurts more than we expect
You feel everything for the first time — and it’s overwhelming
First love isn’t just about romance. It’s your first taste of deep emotional connection. The first time someone really sees you. The first time you let your guard down — and that’s scary as hell.
So when things go wrong (and let’s be real, they often do), it’s not just a breakup. It’s the collapse of a dream you never imagined could fall apart.
I talked about this with my friend Amina the other day. She said something that stuck with me: “It’s not just the person you miss. It’s who you were when you were with them.” And man, that hit hard.
No emotional "callus" yet
The pain of first love cuts deeper because we’re not used to it. We don’t have the emotional tools yet. There’s no experience to balance things out.
By the time you’ve had a couple more relationships, you’ve built some kind of emotional callus. You know love can end. You know you’ll survive. But the first time? It feels like the world’s falling apart and no one gets it.
(And sometimes, they don’t.)
Does it always hurt? Not necessarily
Some people stay with their first love — and it works
Yeah, believe it or not, there are people who marry their first love and live happily ever after (or at least look like it on Instagram). It’s rare, sure. But not impossible.
My cousin Leo met his girlfriend when they were both 16. They just got engaged at 28. When I asked if they ever had those messy, painful moments, he laughed and said: “Plenty. But we always chose to stay.” That’s the part we forget — love isn’t just butterflies. It’s also decision after decision to keep going.
Others have beautiful, bittersweet first loves
Not all first loves end in heartbreak. Some just fade. Life pulls you in different directions. You grow apart. And yeah, it still stings, but it’s not the sharp, unbearable pain. It’s a soft ache — like missing a song you used to play on repeat but haven’t heard in years.
Why the pain of first love can actually help you
It teaches you what you want — and what you can't accept
I didn’t realize how much I’d learned from that first heartbreak until years later. It taught me my limits. It showed me how I wanted to be loved — and more importantly, how I didn’t.
That pain shaped how I show up in relationships now. I’m more honest. I communicate better. And I don’t lose myself like I used to.
Sometimes, pain is a teacher dressed as a disaster.
It opens the door for deeper love
Here’s the weird part: surviving the pain of first love actually makes room for better love later on. A love that’s less about fantasy and more about reality. Less about being completed, more about being whole and choosing someone to share it with.
It’s not as electric, maybe. But it’s safer. Warmer. And in many ways — deeper.
What to do if your first love still hurts
Don’t rush the healing
If you're reading this in the middle of heartbreak, please don’t force yourself to “move on” just because time has passed. Healing isn’t linear. Some days you'll feel fine, and then a random song or smell hits you like a truck.
Let yourself feel it. Write. Cry. Talk to someone. Or sit quietly and let the memory come, then let it go.
Reclaim your story
Don’t let your first love define your worth or your future. That person? They were a chapter, not your whole book.
I once stayed stuck in the shadow of my first love for way too long — comparing every new person to them, idealizing the past. It wasn’t until I stopped doing that that I actually made space for something real.
Final thoughts?
No, first love doesn’t always hurt. But when it does, it can feel like the end of everything. The truth is, it
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Is 172 cm good for a man?
Yes it is. Average height of male in India is 166.3 cm (i.e. 5 ft 5.5 inches) while for female it is 152.6 cm (i.e. 5 ft) approximately. So, as far as your question is concerned, aforesaid height is above average in both cases.
Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?
The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.
Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?
How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).
How tall is a average 15 year old?
Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years
| Male Teens: 13 - 20 Years) | ||
|---|---|---|
| 14 Years | 112.0 lb. (50.8 kg) | 64.5" (163.8 cm) |
| 15 Years | 123.5 lb. (56.02 kg) | 67.0" (170.1 cm) |
| 16 Years | 134.0 lb. (60.78 kg) | 68.3" (173.4 cm) |
| 17 Years | 142.0 lb. (64.41 kg) | 69.0" (175.2 cm) |
How to get taller at 18?
Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.
Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?
Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).
Can you grow between 16 and 18?
Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.
Can you grow 1 cm after 17?
Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.