What Personalities Attract Narcissists: Understanding Traits and Dynamics

What Personality Attracts Narcissists? Understanding the Dynamics

Why Do Narcissists Seek Certain Personalities?

If you’ve ever had a relationship with a narcissist, you may have found yourself wondering: Why do they seem to gravitate toward certain people? Honestly, it’s a tricky situation, and it can be pretty confusing. From my own experiences and research, I’ve come to understand that narcissists often target people who possess certain traits or personalities that fulfill their needs for admiration, control, and validation.

The Narcissist's Need for Control and Admiration

Narcissists crave constant validation. They thrive on attention and admiration. I mean, honestly, it’s almost like their self-worth is directly tied to how others perceive them. But here’s the thing: narcissists are incredibly skilled at reading people and understanding who will provide them with this constant supply of admiration. And guess what? That’s where certain personalities come into play.

Personality Traits That Attract Narcissists

1. Empathetic and Caring Individuals

Honestly, if you’re someone who naturally empathizes with others, I bet you’ve attracted narcissists without even realizing it. Narcissists are often drawn to people who are nurturing, empathetic, and sensitive to others' feelings. Why? Well, because they know that people with these traits will put their needs before their own.

I remember talking to a friend, who’s an extremely empathetic person, and she shared her experience of being involved with a narcissist for years. She said that every time they got into an argument, she was the one who would end up comforting him—despite the fact that he was the one in the wrong. Narcissists can see empathy as a weakness they can exploit.

2. People with Low Self-Esteem

This one is tricky. If you’re someone who struggles with self-esteem issues, a narcissist might target you. They can easily identify those who don’t fully value themselves, and they often take advantage of that vulnerability. Narcissists thrive on manipulation, and they know that people with low self-esteem are more likely to tolerate mistreatment because they doubt their own worth.

I’ve had a friend who, when going through a rough patch, ended up dating a narcissist. He made her feel special at first, but then slowly started undermining her confidence. It’s a pattern: narcissists make you feel validated at first, then systematically destroy your sense of self-worth, all while keeping you hooked with occasional compliments.

3. People Who Seek to Please

I don’t know about you, but I’ve known people who are always eager to please others. It’s in their nature to avoid conflict and to keep people happy. While this can be a lovely trait in healthy relationships, it’s a red flag for narcissists. Why? Because they can’t stand not getting their way, and people-pleasers will often go to great lengths to accommodate them.

One of my coworkers once confided in me about her partner, who was very much a narcissist. She admitted that she would always say yes to him, even if she didn’t want to, just to avoid upsetting him. This is exactly what a narcissist wants. They are attracted to people who will compromise their needs just to avoid conflict or because they lack personal boundaries.

Why Do Narcissists Target These Personalities?

The Desire for Power and Control

At the core of a narcissist's behavior is a desire for dominance and control. Narcissists thrive in relationships where they can manipulate their partner into feeling subservient to their needs. If you’re the kind of person who puts others first, especially if you don’t set strong boundaries, they will see this as an opportunity to take advantage of your goodwill. This is why narcissists are often drawn to people who exhibit selflessness—they can exploit this quality for their own gain.

Feeding Their Ego

Narcissists need a constant supply of admiration to fuel their fragile egos. The people who can give them this validation—those who are naturally empathetic, agreeable, or insecure—are easy targets for a narcissist. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you might have noticed that at first, they shower you with praise and attention, but over time, this shifts into emotional manipulation. They know how to flatter and boost your ego just enough to keep you hooked, but never enough to make you feel secure.

How to Avoid Attracting Narcissists

1. Work on Self-Esteem

I’ve realized over time that the best way to avoid attracting a narcissist is to build a solid sense of self-worth. Narcissists can smell insecurity from a mile away, and they gravitate toward it. If you feel confident in who you are and set healthy boundaries, you’re less likely to attract a narcissist. Honestly, self-confidence is like a protective shield.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries isn’t just important; it’s necessary. Narcissists will often test your limits, and if you don’t enforce them, they’ll cross them without hesitation. In my experience, standing firm on your boundaries, especially early on in any relationship, can help deter narcissists. They won’t waste their time on someone who doesn’t let them push their agenda.

3. Be Mindful of Red Flags

If someone is constantly trying to flatter you or make you feel special, but you’re noticing that the relationship feels one-sided, it’s a red flag. If your partner is making you feel like you're walking on eggshells, or they demand constant admiration, take a step back and evaluate the situation. It’s crucial to recognize these red flags early on.

Conclusion: Can You Avoid Attracting Narcissists?

Honestly, it’s difficult to completely shield yourself from narcissists, especially because they are so skilled at hiding their true intentions. But by understanding the types of personalities they tend to target and taking steps to boost your self-esteem and set strong boundaries, you can reduce the chances of falling prey to their manipulation.

Remember, you are worth so much more than someone who feeds off your insecurity. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and be aware of the traits that attract narcissists—because your happiness and peace of mind are worth protecting.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.