How Do You Tell If An Anxious-Avoidant Likes You? Here’s What to Look For

Understanding the Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style

Well, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether someone with an anxious-avoidant attachment style likes you, you're definitely not alone. These relationships can be complicated, and trying to decode someone's feelings when they have an anxious-avoidant attachment can feel like navigating a maze. Honestly, it can be confusing, especially if you’re not sure what their mixed signals mean.

Let me tell you from experience—figuring out if an anxious-avoidant person likes you can be a rollercoaster of emotions. But with a little patience and understanding of attachment theory, you can start to spot the signs. So, how can you tell if they’re into you? Let’s break it down.

What Is the Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style?

The Basics of Anxious-Avoidant Attachment

Before diving into how to tell if someone likes you, it's important to understand the anxious-avoidant attachment style. People with this attachment style often have mixed feelings about closeness. They crave emotional connection but are also afraid of it, which leads to push-pull behavior in relationships. You might notice them being hot and cold, drawing closer only to pull away when things get too close.

Honestly, this kind of behavior can leave you feeling uncertain. One minute, they’re totally into you, and the next, they’re distant and aloof. But, understanding their attachment patterns can help you interpret their actions in a more empathetic way.

Why the Mixed Signals?

The push-pull dynamic happens because of deep-seated fears that the person might have. They might fear abandonment (anxiety) but also fear being smothered or controlled (avoidance). This causes them to act in ways that can be frustrating, leaving you wondering if they actually like you or not. It’s tricky, for sure!

Signs That an Anxious-Avoidant Might Like You

1. Inconsistent Communication

I’ve seen this firsthand. One of the biggest signs that someone with an anxious-avoidant attachment might like you is inconsistent communication. You might go from texting and talking a lot one day to having crickets the next. It can be confusing, but the underlying reason for this is often fear.

• The anxious side of them wants to stay connected, so they might send a lot of messages or try to be affectionate.

• The avoidant side fears too much closeness, so they pull back. It’s like a constant tug-of-war between their desire for connection and their fear of intimacy.

2. Mixed Behavior: Hot and Cold

Actually, this is one of the classic signs. If you’ve ever had an anxious-avoidant person show you a lot of interest one day and then be distant the next, you’ve experienced the hot and cold behavior. It's maddening, I know. But if they’re going out of their way to spend time with you, even if it’s sometimes inconsistent, there’s a good chance that they do like you—they’re just struggling with their own fears.

I had a friend who was in a relationship with someone like this, and she would describe how she felt elated one moment and confused the next. But, in the end, she learned that it was a result of his anxious-avoidant attachment style.

3. Physical Affection, But On Their Terms

Honestly, physical affection can be tricky with an anxious-avoidant. On one hand, they may be very affectionate when they’re in the mood, but on the other, they might pull back when they feel things are getting too intense. This can look like them giving you a hug or holding your hand one moment and then withdrawing when it becomes more intimate or emotional.

If they like you, they will show you affection, but it will likely be on their terms. You might get a lot of affection when they feel comfortable, but when they get scared or overwhelmed, they’ll retreat.

How to Interpret Their Actions

1. Observe Their Interest When You’re Apart

Well, here’s where things can get tricky. Anxious-avoidant individuals often feel overwhelmed when they’re too close to someone emotionally, so they might withdraw to protect themselves. But, if they keep checking in on you or reaching out despite their need for space, it’s a sign that they care, but are just afraid to get too close too fast.

I had a conversation with a colleague who had been in a relationship with someone like this. She told me that even though he pulled away sometimes, he always came back, texted regularly, and checked up on her, which showed that despite his hesitation, he liked her. It was just a fear of getting too attached that made him act distant.

2. They Are Protective or Jealous (In Their Own Way)

This one can be hard to spot at first, but if they’re showing signs of jealousy or acting protective (even in small ways), it’s a clear indicator they like you. The anxious side of their personality might get triggered by the thought of you getting close to someone else.

However, don’t confuse this with controlling behavior—there’s a difference. Anxious-avoidants might show jealousy in a subtle way, and they often do it indirectly. If you see that they’re trying to keep you close without being overbearing, it’s a sign that they care, but they’re navigating their attachment fears.

What to Do If You’re Dating an Anxious-Avoidant

1. Be Patient and Give Them Space

Honestly, if you're dealing with an anxious-avoidant individual, you need to be patient. They’re navigating their own emotional maze, and it’s important to understand that their mixed signals come from fear, not a lack of interest. They might need more space and time than others, so respect their boundaries while still showing them that you care.

2. Communicate Openly

It might feel challenging at times, but open communication is key. Let them know how you’re feeling, but also be compassionate about their need for space. Don’t push them to open up, but make sure they know that you’re there when they’re ready to engage.

3. Avoid Playing Games

Trust me, playing games with someone who has an anxious-avoidant attachment style will only increase their anxiety. If you’re in a relationship with them, honesty and consistency go a long way. Show that you’re reliable and patient, and let them know that you’re in this for the long haul.

Conclusion: Anxious-Avoidant Individuals Do Like You, But Their Fear Holds Them Back

So, how do you tell if an anxious-avoidant likes you? It’s all about understanding the push-pull dynamic and recognizing their subtle signs of affection, jealousy, and interest. They do like you, but their attachment style makes it hard for them to get too close too quickly. Be patient, give them space, and communicate openly, and you’ll start to understand their feelings better. It’s not easy, but with time, you’ll see that their actions reflect their true interest in you.

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The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

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How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

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Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

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Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

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Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.