When You Truly Love a Narcissist: The Pain, Hope, and Hard Truths

What It Really Means to Love a Narcissist

Loving a narcissist isn’t like any other kind of love. It’s not soft or steady. It’s messy, confusing, and, oh boy—at times, electric. One moment they make you feel like the most special person on earth, and the next… you’re invisible.

The thing is, narcissists often have deep wounds hidden under all that bravado. When you see that version of them—the scared, vulnerable, almost childlike version—it’s hard not to want to stay. To believe your love can save them. (Spoiler: it usually can’t. But we'll get to that.)

Early Signs You’re in Love With a Narcissist

The charm is next-level (at first)

They sweep you off your feet. They say all the right things. You're convinced you’ve met your soulmate. This phase, often called “love bombing”, is intoxicating.

But slowly... subtly... things shift.

You’re always wrong—and they’re never to blame

If you find yourself apologizing constantly, even when your gut screams you're not at fault—red flag. Narcissists deflect blame like pros. They rewrite history, twist conversations, and leave you doubting your memory.

You feel addicted to their approval

One nice text from them and boom—you feel amazing again. Like a fix. That emotional rollercoaster? It’s exhausting, but it’s also addictive.

Why It's So Hard to Let Go (Even When You Know You Should)

The trauma bond is real

This isn’t just emotional attachment—it’s a trauma bond. A cycle of highs and lows that keeps you hooked. Like being starved for affection and then suddenly thrown a feast. You stay... hoping for another bite.

You see the good underneath it all

You remember the sweet version of them. The one who held your hand at 2am. The one who cried and said they’d change. And part of you still believes them.

Heck, maybe you’re reading this thinking, “But they’re not that bad.” That thought? Classic symptom of being stuck in a narcissistic relationship.

Can You Actually Be in a Healthy Relationship With a Narcissist?

Okay, so here’s the tough love.

In most cases… no

Unless they’re actively working on themselves (with therapy, self-awareness, the whole deal), true emotional intimacy is nearly impossible. Narcissism isn’t just arrogance—it’s a deep inability to empathize or take accountability.

You can’t build a stable home on shaky ground. Even if you bring the bricks and the mortar.

But sometimes... there's a slim chance

There are levels of narcissism. Some people show traits without having full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). With massive effort and commitment (on their part), change is possible. Rare—but possible.

Just don’t bank your sanity on it. That’s the trap.

What Loving a Narcissist Can Teach You About Yourself

Sounds odd, but there’s often a silver lining—eventually.

You learn where your boundaries are (or that you had none)

Narcissists are masters at pushing limits. If you let them, they’ll take and take and take... until you’ve got nothing left. Hitting that breaking point often becomes the wake-up call you didn’t know you needed.

You learn that love isn’t supposed to feel like walking on eggshells

True love doesn’t make you question your worth daily. It doesn’t gaslight you or leave you sobbing in your car, wondering what just happened.

And once you realize that... damn. You start to reclaim pieces of yourself.

Final Thoughts: Is It Love—or Is It Trauma in Disguise?

When you truly love a narcissist, the line between real connection and emotional survival gets blurry. Like—really blurry. But here’s the thing: love shouldn't hurt like this. Love shouldn’t drain you or make you feel small.

If you're asking, "Am I crazy?"—you're probably not.

If you're asking, "But what if I’m the problem?"—you’ve probably been manipulated.

If you’re reading this in tears or with a heavy chest... know that you're not alone. And yes, it's okay to love them—but it's also okay to walk away. Even if it hurts like hell.

Because sometimes, the most powerful kind of love is the one you give yourself.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.