Why Can't Narcissists Be Alone? The Truth Behind the Mask

The Deep Fear Behind the Grandiosity

At first glance, narcissists seem confident. Loud, even. They take up space, dominate conversations, and seem like they have it all figured out. But here’s the kicker — they're terrified of being alone. Not bored. Not annoyed. Terrified.

Why? Because being alone strips away all the external mirrors they rely on to feel like they exist. Sounds dramatic? Yeah, but for them, it's real. When no one’s around to admire or react to them, their entire sense of self starts to wobble.

The Narcissistic Supply: Oxygen for the Ego

What is "narcissistic supply"?

This term gets thrown around a lot, but it basically means: attention, admiration, validation. Positive or negative, doesn’t matter — as long as it centers on them.

A narcissist feeds off:

• Compliments

• Reactions (even anger or jealousy)

• Social media likes and comments

• Praise at work or envy from others

Without this supply, they’re like a balloon slowly deflating. The silence of solitude feels unbearable.

A short personal detour...

I once dated someone who, looking back, ticked all the narcissist boxes. Let's call him J. If he spent a single evening alone — no texts, no Instagram DMs, no audience — he’d spiral. He’d suddenly pick a fight with me or post something overly dramatic online just to get people talking. It took me months to realize: he wasn’t just “extroverted.” He was scared of the void.

Identity Crisis: Who Am I Without You?

No inner core

One of the lesser-known traits of narcissism is that many narcissists don’t have a stable sense of self. Their identity isn’t anchored — it’s borrowed. From relationships, achievements, status symbols. Alone, with no one to reflect back who they think they are, they feel like they’re disappearing.

It’s like this:

"If no one sees me succeed, did I really succeed?"
"If no one loves me, am I even lovable?"
"If I'm alone... am I even real?"

Chameleons in public, empty in private

They might act like social chameleons — changing tone, style, even beliefs depending on who they’re with. It works, for a while. But in solitude, there’s no one to mimic. No one to play to. And that’s when the cracks start showing.

Solitude Feels Like Punishment, Not Peace

Restlessness and anxiety

While most people might enjoy a quiet evening with a book or a walk in the park, narcissists often experience restlessness and anxiety when alone. Their thoughts get loud. Their inner critic? Even louder.

This can lead to:

• Sudden phone calls to exes

• Obsessive social media scrolling

• Impulsive behaviors (shopping, drinking, risky sex)

It’s not just "not liking being alone." It’s more like a frantic scramble to escape their own mind.

The mask slips in solitude

In public, narcissists wear a carefully curated mask. Alone, that mask becomes impossible to maintain — and what’s left underneath often frightens them. Vulnerability. Insecurity. Shame.

And yeah, some of them would rather die than sit with those feelings.

But Wait — Aren’t Some Narcissists Lone Wolves?

Good point. Some narcissists do isolate themselves. But not for peace or reflection — it’s usually part of a power move. Think:

• “I don’t need anyone” superiority

• Silent treatment to punish someone

• Withdrawing to regain control

They're not comfortable being alone. They're using it as a tool. Big difference.

Final Thought: It's Not Just Ego — It's Fragility

It’s easy to roll your eyes at narcissists. God knows I’ve done it. But underneath the bravado is often a person who’s deeply insecure, almost childlike in their fear of abandonment and irrelevance.

So why can’t narcissists be alone?

Because solitude forces them to confront something they spend their whole life running from: themselves.

Is 165 cm normal for a 15 year old?

The predicted height for a female, based on your parents heights, is 155 to 165cm. Most 15 year old girls are nearly done growing. I was too. It's a very normal height for a girl.

Is 160 cm too tall for a 12 year old?

How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).

How tall is a average 15 year old?

Average Height to Weight for Teenage Boys - 13 to 20 Years

How to get taller at 18?

Staying physically active is even more essential from childhood to grow and improve overall health. But taking it up even in adulthood can help you add a few inches to your height. Strength-building exercises, yoga, jumping rope, and biking all can help to increase your flexibility and grow a few inches taller.

Is 5.7 a good height for a 15 year old boy?

Generally speaking, the average height for 15 year olds girls is 62.9 inches (or 159.7 cm). On the other hand, teen boys at the age of 15 have a much higher average height, which is 67.0 inches (or 170.1 cm).

Can you grow between 16 and 18?

Most girls stop growing taller by age 14 or 15. However, after their early teenage growth spurt, boys continue gaining height at a gradual pace until around 18. Note that some kids will stop growing earlier and others may keep growing a year or two more.

Can you grow 1 cm after 17?

Even with a healthy diet, most people's height won't increase after age 18 to 20. The graph below shows the rate of growth from birth to age 20. As you can see, the growth lines fall to zero between ages 18 and 20 ( 7 , 8 ). The reason why your height stops increasing is your bones, specifically your growth plates.